william

hustler

[william @williamkeeley11]

When you gonna stop drinking Chardonnay with Carlie Shay and start drinking beers by the bucket wit Sam Puckett

[william @williamkeeley11]

I want to meet Domingo @nbcsnl

[william @williamkeeley11]

In the crib doing huuuuge coughs

[william @williamkeeley11]

@soupmamasoup Make sure to like the tweet

[william @williamkeeley11]

College is great because all your friends watch the sopranos

[william @williamkeeley11]

In rural Pennsylvania running a two man, American pickers

[william @williamkeeley11]

@gregforever17 Ugly nerds

[william @williamkeeley11]

Guy next to me on the plane was watching a movie with a hotter girl than mine

[william @williamkeeley11]

Stealing clothes from the thrift call that black samba activity

[william @williamkeeley11]

My daylist

[william @williamkeeley11]

Need a 504 plan to let professors know I troll on syllabus day

[william @williamkeeley11]

Every sexually active man should be able to freestyle rap, do 1 tiktok dance, and have at least one dramatic monologue memorized

[william @williamkeeley11]

Boy in my class dressed like this and smells like a dead animal

[william @williamkeeley11]

If i was in bama rush I would be the leader girl in the front with the solo dance while you are in the middle of the pack making stank faces trying to be different

[william @williamkeeley11]

I would never buy a first class ticket on account of there’s little to no girls in first class. For systemic reasons.

[william @williamkeeley11]

My wife: nag nag nag
Me in dave and busters with both airpods in listening to a podcast: 😇

[william @williamkeeley11]

Deleting Snapchat for a bit. Here’s my home address and door code

[william @williamkeeley11]

@griddy_monster You can not miss