Edward Willigoony

A motivated hard working student preparing to start A level studies who is keen to experience working as part of a team and further improve my talking skills.

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

I'm unstoppable and when I set my eyes on something I WILL have it. Hunting down my prey #slay.Work harder nor smarter.

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

Although I failed to find love this year, I'll be back next year, better than ever. #SwollGoony2024

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

She doesn't know what she's missing. SHE DOWN BUT WE UP ‼️‼️‼️

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

The little boy from Lornytown, England, on behalf of every man wearing a £1 playboy condom. WILLIGOONY failing to see her back, one lick of his ball. He's never done it before, he imagined it many times before. He must do it now. GOONY must. No no no, she's got away. #PeterDrury

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

I am absolutely bloody fuming. My latest love interest (Codename: Warty) has been ripped from me by some little pube-faced rat. Now my heart and collarbone are broken. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...... (At least I got a card for my troubles)

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

International Women's Day yesterday. Thought I'd take some time to think about the gender pay gap and period cramps. ITS NOT FAIR. I cried for 3 hours, if only women went for guys like me. DM if you want to talk about gender inequality (women only). #niceguy #sharpjawline

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

I've just found that a gimp is not in fact a disabled person, but a sexually submissive individual. I always wondered why people looked at me funny when I said my Grampa became a gimp as a child and that I liked to bully vulnerable little gimps. #sexualawakening #animals

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

@ClideRootenhose Hey Clide 😘

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

Just so you know those last images of NOT my feet were in fact edited. I have got a hold of the originals and I have to say whoever's they are, those are so really yummy looking feet. I could just sit there and watch for hours, maybe lick them a bit, get between the toes. Mmmhhhh

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

If anyone shows you these images I want you to know that ACTUALLY these are NOT my vile, diseased looking feet, that is NOT the back of my head and that is NOT my Ted Baker jumper I always wear. Thank you. #TruthAtAllCosts #CrimesAgainstHumanity

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

I was always told there are bigger fish in the sea, and last night I realised it was true after this fat bastard assaulted me. I barely escaped and no longer feel safe in my own flesh, not that I have much. Forget aid for that Earthquake, I'm in need.

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

Also it's my birthday and as a gift to myself and everyone I thought I'd defuse another bomb (she never expected the fly kick in the Asda world foods section) #HateCrime

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

After a tumultuous end to my first relationship (silly bitch) I relapsed and found myself outside the local school time and again peeking. It wasn't long before the rozzers caught wind and I was on the run. I've fled for Spain as I quite like Paella and hope to hide in the hills.

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

Why do they call it a jap's eye? Whenever I see a Japanese person their eyes aren't bleeding. #sexualhealth

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

Merry Christmas 🎄 to everyone today, even those with menopause .

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

@WilligoonyFan ACTUALLY AN INCH IS PRETTY FUCKING HUGE, ENOUGH TO SATISFY MOST PEOPLE TOO MUCH FOR SOME EVEN

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

FFS man, I have to rescind my status as a Rasta as it turn out the year 7 I had purchased my narcotics from for £300.00 lied to me and it was oregano. I will be contacting his parents #littlewanker #peeved

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

HEAR ME NOW, HEAR ME NOW. BUMBOCLART MON, ME IS COMING OUT. I HAVE SMOKED ME FIRST ZOOT 🚬🚬🚬🚬. I IS NOW RASTA.

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

It has been brought to my attention in relation to my last tweet that those with special needs can't really 'recover'. I'd like to apologise as I mainly hire people to act in order to make myself look better. #whoops #

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

I was really touched when I got involved in bringing some Christmas cheer to a local special needs school recently. All the students were great, wishing them a speedy recovery. #GetWellSoon

[Edward Willigoony @willigoony]

LISTEN EVERYONE, IF YOU HAVE MINECRAFT DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, STRIP OTHER PEOPLE'S LOGS. I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MINUTES IT TAKES. 5 WHOLE MINUTES 😭😭😭😭😭