Wilson Titlee™

Wilson Titlee has been Appalachia's favorite grocery since 1877! Prices so low they’re slapping Satan in the face! Don't ask about TITLEE, our cryptocurrency!

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@McTaintlee @HardSciFiMovies @KorbTorsons Okie, dokie, we've discussed this, maybe we can work with this. How about a new ad campaign built around filling the most disgusting containers imaginable with anything. Want a coffin full of beets? You got it. Litter box jammed with sausages. Sure!

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

Can we sell this at #WilsonTitlee?

Or would you run screaming to your mothers and fathers, asking why they made you be born into a horror-world such as this?

#cheese

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@wilsoncaldwel17 Yes.

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

We love all these groceries.

Except those motherfuckers over at Great Flamingo.

Ran a gotdamn ad campaign saying our raisins are really rat turds (which is simply not completely true), and you win an enemy for life.

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@TMFStockAdvisor Look, we get it, ya gotta shill.

When that giant pile of KitKats gets dumped into our loading dock, you best believe we pushing KitKats like our gran-gran pushes her walker.

But you fools been hawking b.s. for decades now. Maybe switch the lights off and take a long nap?

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

#MayoLife

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@ClueHeywood When you move, don’t forget your All the Mayo Your Guts & Soul Can Handle card from your local Wilson Titlee

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@ClueHeywood When you move, don’t forget your All the Mayo Your Guts & Soul Can Handle card from your local Wilson Titlee

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@HyVee I’m not going to pretend Wilson Titlee’s take on Mexican cuisine is all that great, but at least we have some common sense and don’t absolutely disgrace an entire culture by putting those ridiculous olive slices on our grub.

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@jonkimball American Cucumbers Are Bountiful at Wilson Titlee

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@StrangeAlienSky Your loyalty is appreciated

We’ll even forgive the time you unleashed chinchillas on our salad bar

Do you *know* what chinchillas do after they eat lettuce? Do you know the foul smells and sounds that spew forth?

We were forced to burn that store down

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

When will we, the finest grocer there is, get the social media attention we deserve?

We *rarely* put rat feces in our food items, and we WILL NOT bow to pressure from Big Rat to boost maximum rat shit content in our food beyond 25%.

Your move, Spaceman

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

As soon as @LindaYacc is ready, we will do a Spaces where you can ask us anything

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@theRealKiyosaki BUT WHAT ABOUT CANS OF TUNA?

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@theRealKiyosaki Sure, sounds great, but back to cans of tuna. You once said that was the currency of the future. Can you please, oh please, elaborate?

We sell tuna. Let's talk, dude.

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@stablestrategys @adikrunch Wait, I'm not Food Mommy, please keep your regionally tolerated grocery chains straight

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@adikrunch @stablestrategys how dare you!

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@jessicahagy My issue is these beasts crawling all over the bananas seem to have too many holes

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

Wait, *how many* orifices do rats usually have?

#HoustonWeHaveAProblem

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@jonkimball Our grocery is pretty cool tho

Still need help scouting locations, like we want to build more skyscraper groceries but we don’t want to ruin any skylines

Can you help?

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

I don’t want to say we have TOTALLY conquered the food game

But let’s be honest, all that other food you’ve been eating?

It’s just scabs

At Wilson Titlee, no scabs. That’s our pledge to you

#NoScabs #MAGA #69 #ACAB

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

Oh, shit, we left all the food in the trunk of our car.

Nothing on the shelves.

The rats are angry and started a fight club, all bulging muscles and growling.

Talk about a case of the Mondays! On a Thursday even!

#NoFuckingFood #BulgingRats

[Wilson Titlee™ @WilsonTitlee]

@Quentin56298033 @stablestrategys @ChunkEFriend @kroger Icing? Yeah, we sell that. Those fucks over at Kroger and ChunkEFriend, on the other hand? Their icing is made from the tears of clowns. Ours comes out of the assholes of rainbows.

#tastetherainbow