Friendly Kay Tee Stores

Local Korb Torsons store hours may be changing due to staffing-related challenges. Please do not bang on the windows if the store is locked.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

Thanks to YouTube sensation “Junk Wax Genius” for the #mention of @OrelHershiser’s rumored #CactusLoaf superstition in Episode 62 of his program! Many are saying it is false, including Orel himself, but we like keeping the legend alive. #MustacheBeardOrNothing

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

We appreciate the ASU students who vowed to eat one Cactus Loaf™️ for each “Guilty” verdict & we apologize for running out of ready-to-eat Loafs so quickly. We were not anticipating 34 guilty verdicts to be returned so quickly. Please try again tomorrow or Monday!

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

@simongerman600 “Most Popular” isn’t the same as “Favorite.” We heard that web traffic, Tweets and other social media counted in the popularity contest and that’s just not where Korb Torson’s chooses to compete.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

@AtlWinKnee @Leftygayboi2 I don’t think so

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

That @junkwaxgenius person called out the #cactusloaf superstition that helped @OrelHershiser through his scoreless innings streak. Orel says it isn’t true but the truth has a way of becoming real if it believes in itself! Thanks!

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

If there is a #NationalDivorce, #FriendlyKayTee stores in the @StateOfTexas will not carry items that are produced in, or contain ingredients from, #bluestates. That’s how strongly we believe in supporting domestic industry and minimizing imports wherever possible.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

@NickAdamsinUSA Yes, do this! Do it often! If you buy M&Ms from #FriendlyKayTee, we’ll also let you take a picture of the money you paid us for the candy. Some of that money will go to @marsglobal!

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

@LoGravityTweets Hey! That stings. But @WilsonTitlee does some good stuff. You two enjoy each other.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

@AbigailShrier @elonmusk Hi Abigail! Those magazines you’re showing all went to press WEEKS before any of this twitter nonsense started. If you’re looking for topical news coverage, the tabloids by the checkouts tend to be more timely. Or is Newsweek still printing? Hope this helps!

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

Rumors are true: A dingdong who “earned” a fortune in something called #crypto has apparently given up on that industry and decided he can run a #GroceryStore better than we can. His #stupidplan sounds like a #recipe for #bankruptcy within weeks if implemented. We don’t need him.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

#FriendlyKayTee stores are adding a new Hot Bar option for the season. It’s basically a #McRib but with McGriddles-style bread instead of the sesame roll or whatever @McDonalds uses. And we won’t take it away from you in a few weeks for no good reason. Oh, and Elon is a chump.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

@LolOverruled #FriendlyKorbTorson hot bars are a #fun place to hang with your chums or to meet new ones! You’re allowed to stand around for up to 15 minutes as long as you buy something. Lookie-loos must keep moving. (See earlier post about new anti-browsing policy.)

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

Which #FriendlyKayTee Thanksgiving side has “got to go?”

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

#FriendlyKayTee stores are accepting applications for all positions (except #SocialMediaManager lol) at all locations after last week’s erroneous mass layoff. All are welcome to apply EXCEPT @DrOz because he would not be a helpful contributor.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

Going forward, #FriendlyKayTee stores hereby revokes ALL Tolerated Customer®️ cards from ANYONE who claims to have found a “better price” on tomato sauce, milk, rice, custom hoagies, or sour onion and cream potato chips at a competitor. Screw you, pal.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

#FriendlyKayTee stores will now use all remaining employees to ensure our customers shop ONLY at our stores. ALL customers MUST register debit cards or checking accounts with us to ensure exclusive grocery spending. No exceptions. No comparison shopping.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

Going forward, any #FriendlyKayTee shopper engaging in “just browsing” without clearly specifying “personal bankruptcy” will be permanently banned from any and all Korb Torson’s stores. We are a grocer, not a gallery or lending library. Purchase or GTFO.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

@elonmusk is herby banned from all #FriendlyKayTee stores within 200 miles of #BocaChica. He is not allowed to walk through our doors, much less to stretch his budget by taking advantage of great savings on Korb’s Best Try™️ store brand items. Those are for normal people.

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

Golly, what a wacky mixup! We’re new to this whole #SocialMediaManagement thing and we thought OUR COMPANY had to lay off half our employees if we wanted to #StayOnTwitter! Oops! So that’s why your local #FriendlyKayTee store may not be open anymore. 😬

[Friendly Kay Tee Stores @KorbTorsons]

@elonmusk So you’re saying you have decided that $8 a month is all it costs to make you tolerate a bot or fake account?