Top Tweets for #FriendlyKayTee
If there is a #NationalDivorce, #FriendlyKayTee stores in the @StateOfTexas will not carry items that are produced in, or contain ingredients from, #bluestates. That’s how strongly we believe in supporting domestic industry and minimizing imports wherever possible.
Going forward, #FriendlyKayTee stores hereby revokes ALL Tolerated Customer®️ cards from ANYONE who claims to have found a “better price” on tomato sauce, milk, rice, custom hoagies, or sour onion and cream potato chips at a competitor. Screw you, pal.
#FriendlyKayTee stores will now use all remaining employees to ensure our customers shop ONLY at our stores. ALL customers MUST register debit cards or checking accounts with us to ensure exclusive grocery spending. No exceptions. No comparison shopping.
Going forward, any #FriendlyKayTee shopper engaging in “just browsing” without clearly specifying “personal bankruptcy” will be permanently banned from any and all Korb Torson’s stores. We are a grocer, not a gallery or lending library. Purchase or GTFO.
Golly, what a wacky mixup! We’re new to this whole #SocialMediaManagement thing and we thought OUR COMPANY had to lay off half our employees if we wanted to #StayOnTwitter! Oops! So that’s why your local #FriendlyKayTee store may not be open anymore. 😬
Stop by your closest #FriendlyKayTee store to place your family’s order to reserve your Cactus Loaf™️ meal for #Thanksgiving! This year’s package includes #mushmeat in “real”gravy, a nine-pack of Deep-fried Nib Jublets© and a whole thing of Famous Torson Corn™️! See you soon!
@davidcrosss @franklinbbq @UrbanLoungeSLC Not the first time, and probably not the last, that someone comes to Texas looking for a #ketchup sandwich and ends up choosing @franklinbbq instead of actually visiting a #FriendlyKayTee store. Our lines are shorter! By a lot! Keep that in mind for next time!
@davidcrosss Show this tweet at the Tolerated Customer desk at ANY #FriendlyKayTee store in Austin for one of our Korb’s Best Try Ketchup-Style Condiment Sauce© Sammie! Its idiosyncratic tang has been FDA-accepted since 1981. If you don’t love it, it’s FREE! $3.99 if you eat more than half.
@ScottAukerman @elonmusk DOES have the one and only #FriendlyKayTee Adobe Card™️ (the Customer Tolerance Card that is made out of clay) but store records show that he’s only used it once. That was in 2019, for early access to our seasonal Pumpkin Spice Cactus Loaf©. Haven’t seen him since. 🤷🏻♂️
@stephenjudkins @what_tar_nation Thanks for bringing this to our attention! #FriendlyKayTee stores will NEVER carry this product due to these frivolous restrictions. We want our #customers to do WHATEVER THEY WANT to/with the fruit they buy from us! #BurgerBoy
@elonmusk @lexfridman You’re in the ❤️ of SpicyTown, so drop by a local #FriendlyKayTee store for a “free” sample Chocolate-ish Chonk Kookie©! We can’t legally call them “chocolate” but your tastebuds will be too shook to care about the reasons why! Just show this tweet at our Customer Tolerance Desk!
@Curve125 @what_tar_nation We can explain! That was a miscommunication as part of his brief time as a #FriendlyKayTee spokesman. Was supposed to say “It’s KORBING time.” Idea was “Gorbachev” sounds like “Korb to shop” and “Korbing” would become a fun verb like #Krogering for @kroger. Fun while it lasted!
.@OrelHershiser We heard you developed a #superstition about eating a pre-game Cactus Loaf© during your shutout innings streak and that you had them shipped to #TheLand in 1995 when you played for the Indians because there are no #FriendlyKayTee stores in Ohio. True?
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