Mayonnaise Solo

“Thanks for the f-shack. Love, Dirty Mike and the boys

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

This is Jared contacting me, any given interaction

[Tyler Schmall @tylerschmall]

My friend Adam has never texted me for a normal reason.

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

My crunchy ass thought this shit was a chalk bag…

[♎️Bootied down and tittied up! @toomuchFinesse]

If 2+2 is 4, and 5+5 is 10……What tf is this?

[♎️Bootied down and tittied up! @toomuchFinesse]

If 2+2 is 4, and 5+5 is 10……What tf is this?

[Anthony Burch @anthony_burch]

beth and i have never been friends except for the thirty seconds after i admitted Balto was decently fuckable

[petfinder names @petfindernames]

i did the math and it checks out

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

We talk like women are dramatic, then we have men like Dan Humphrey and I am once again reminded of the full spectrum of audacity.

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

So, do you mean to tell me that Dan Humphrey referred to himself as “Lonely Boy” for six full ass seasons…?!

[Travis McElroy (Self Parody) @travismcelroy]

What’s next?! Keeping track of how many EMUS YOU DO OR DO NOT OWN?! What’s next?! Asking a lot of questions about WHY YOU OWN SO MANY EMUS and WHY ARE THEY ALL DRESSED LIKE CHARACTERS FROM VAMPIRE DIARIES?! I thought it was the the US of A, not the US of HEY, WHY SO MANY EMUS?

[Justin “Hoops” McElroy @JustinMcElroy]

don’t fill up on chips

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

Charles Entertainment Cheese

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

5’ tall and I’ve straight up held a pint with both hands

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

I’m actually not going to sleep tonight after learning that “Brink” has a 76% on Rotten Tomatoes.

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

Not Griffin has a baby and we replace him with Ron Funches

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

Well godammit

[Justin “Hoops” McElroy @JustinMcElroy]

I know this is is a hackneyed internet thing to say, but I am TRULY being directly attacked by this video

[Justin “Hoops” McElroy @JustinMcElroy]

The Zoomy format of the Golden Globes has given me low-key anxiety that at any moment I could be selected to appear on the screen

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

We are the wealiest country in the world, yet anyone below middle class can have their entire livelihood and “legacy” wiped out by one singular medical emergency, accident or employment loss.

[GoFundMe @gofundme]

Millions of Americas are struggling to pay for life's essentials right now.

Every day we see fundraisers for rent, utilities, and even groceries.

But GoFundMe was never made to be a source of support for basic needs, and it can never be a replacement for robust federal relief.

[GoFundMe @gofundme]

Millions of Americas are struggling to pay for life's essentials right now.

Every day we see fundraisers for rent, utilities, and even groceries.

But GoFundMe was never made to be a source of support for basic needs, and it can never be a replacement for robust federal relief.

[Mayonnaise Solo @windstokesfire]

I watched four episodes of “Are You the One” season 8 and googled the results and they are unacceptable.

[Justin “Hoops” McElroy @JustinMcElroy]

basically—