Hermes

God of Messengers, Thieves, Travelers, rraatttsssss

(George, stop it)

Played the lyre before it was cool

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

Happy Pride!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

Redbull lets me nyyyoooooooommm

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.

I was like well damn.

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

There are two types of birds: the drones used by the government and the real ones that are spies for Zeus. Don't trust any of them.

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

If the font on your mail and everything inside the package is wingdings, I'm not happy with you and you should probably endever to figure out why or suffer wingdings mail for the rest of your life

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

A tip for my travellers out there! Keep hand santizer and/or wipes in your vehicle of choice just incase there isn't a place (or a clean place b/c lbr, some public bathrooms are gross) to wash your hands!

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

@LightningMcZeus @Queenof0lympus 😁👋🏃🏼‍♂️

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

Hey, @LightningMcZeus, do you like Dad Jokes™️? I think they're one of my better inventions 😊

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

@travisbestealin If you mean to give it back it's just borrowing!

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

@LightningMcZeus @Queenof0lympus (It doesn't seem like he understands that you insulted him by underhandedly calling him a joke...)

Yes, Martha, I know, just let it happen.

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

@realdeadangelos Just be sure 𝘯𝘰𝘵 to 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 when you leave *cough*𝙊𝙧𝙥𝙝𝙚𝙪𝙨*cough*

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

@Queenof0lympus @LightningMcZeus I just want to know if he likes the invention I named after him 😊

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

@wisdom_andwar Fine.
*c r i e s in "I gave too many jobs"*

Better?

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

*has an existential crisis in "I have too many jobs"*

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

Reminder from the god of travel and boundaries: if you travel to a high risk COVID area, wear your mask, and self-quarantine for 14 days upon returning home! Travel facilitates the spread of disease, so please be safe and smart when traveling, and WEAR A MASK!

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

@Chris_oftrades It's a lovely cake, but please do try to get some sleep

[Dara 🇨🇲🇨🇦 @NfonDara]

While we’re at it can we also stop being antisemetic. Not cool either.

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

This mortal speaks the truth. You would do well to listen. To this message and especially to those protesting #blm #blacklivesmatter

[Nonbinarycosplay @nonbinarycos]

Protests built this country. To insinuate that BLM Protesters today are being unconstitutional and breaking the law is beyond hypocritical, especially if you celebrate the 4th of July without a shred of discomfort. Black Lives Matter. Period. #blm #blacklivesmatter

[Aphrodite @loveoverwars]

PSA:

If you’re in a public bathroom and your think someone’s gender doesn’t match the sign on the door follow these steps.

1. Don’t worry about it. They know where they belong

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

@GemmaBakes4Love She will very much appreciate that

[Hermes @wingdingmailman]

George and Martha are currently in cell phone mode on silent and will remain so for the foreseeable future. Meanwhile, I will immediately begin amending this situation as soon as possible.