Samantha

I tweet about things I should be telling my therapist

[Samantha @witchantha]

I saw a new doctor the other day and she had the mf nerve to tell me I don’t need my antidepressants/anti anxiety meds anymore bc I’m young and beautiful and I would be more beautiful if I wasn’t fat ✌️

[Samantha @witchantha]

One of my old teachers who regularly verbally abused my class in middle school added me on Facebook, and I keep seeing people say how amazing he was and he was such a great teacher. Bro when? He screamed at me for having ADHD several times?

[Samantha @witchantha]

Every time I come to your Walmart, I get pregnant. @AbbeySalyer

[Samantha @witchantha]

I’ll vote for whoever outlaws daylight savings, I’m over it

[Samantha @witchantha]

Every year @linkinpark

[Samantha @witchantha]

@mepfeiff_89 MEEEEEE

[Samantha @witchantha]

@shanedawson I tried this after watching your video

[Samantha @witchantha]

@PicturesFoIder 48
+ 27

8+8 is 16 so 7+8 is 1 less than 16 so the bottom number must be a 5, carry the 1.
1
48
+ 27
=
5
4+2+1 is 7
So the answer is 75

[Samantha @witchantha]

In other news I have to figure out which part of my ass I’m gonna pull $484 from because US health care is shit.

[Samantha @witchantha]

I saw a new doctor today and she almost made me cry because she said “you’re healthy”. Never in my life have I gone to a doctor and not heard something along the lines of LOSE WEIGHT FATTY

[Samantha @witchantha]

Hey @POTUS can you pretty pretty please out law daylight savings?

[Samantha @witchantha]

I love when Doctors give me specific directions that I follow to a T, and then a month later you do the exact thing they told you to do and they’re like “why tf you do that? Wrong. U dumb”

[Samantha @witchantha]

Wait why haven’t I seen anyone talking about this until now?

[KanekoaTheGreat @KanekoaTheGreat]

THREAD: Photos, videos, and news reports about the train derailment and toxic chemical release in East Palestine, Ohio.

This may be the largest environmental disaster in U.S. history.

🧵👇

[Samantha @witchantha]

@ my uterus is a 52 day period really necessary? I mean thank you for a 10 day break after 40 straight days but pls I’m so anemic

[Samantha @witchantha]

Why do we live in a world where I had call my little brother to make sure he was safe during the msu shooting? Why is this normal to us?

[Samantha @witchantha]

@AbbeySalyer Timmy AKA Earthquake

[Samantha @witchantha]

Has your boyfriend ever farted on you in his sleep, giggled, and then went back to snoring? Just mine? 😂❤️

[Samantha @witchantha]

Me: *at work signing up a boomer for a membership*
Guy I went to high school with: *minding his own business working out*
Boomer: *grumpily* THAT YOUNG MAN SMELLS LIKE WEED!
Guy: I just smoked one outside you should have told me if you wanted one
Me: 😭😂😭😂
Boomer: 😤

[Samantha @witchantha]

Before this I was on a birth control that made my periods ~30 days long. No, that’s not normal. You will become anemic. My obgyn put some sort of medication on my cervix to help stop the bleeding. Do your research and ask them every question. Find an ob that’s on your side!

[Samantha @witchantha]

I got an IUD yesterday, here’s my review:
Insertion: not super painful, just felt like very sudden period cramps. Deep breaths and having a distraction (my phone) made it easier. It felt like I had to poop.
Don’t go to work after getting it done like I did.

[Samantha @witchantha]

The pain that night was really bad. Take ibuprofen! Before and after! Stay consistent with taking it on time!
You will feel the strings afterward. Don’t freak out, you get used to it.
Get the iud inserted when you’re on your period. Apparently it makes the process less painful.