Ludwig Wittlessgenstein

washed up existentialist

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

*on first date*
Her: so what do you do
Me: I'm a philosopher
Her: ...
Me: ...
Her: ...so what does that mean
Me: precisely

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Me: I got that dawg in me
Kash Patel, appearing out of nowhere: when can you start?

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

8675309

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Flashback Friday to when I sent this to my first supervisor, lmk if you need bars

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Turned 34 yesterday, in need of a midlife crisis. I'm contemplating launching a podcast that's 3 minutes of content/57 minutes of ads, and the 3 minutes are just me doing Tim Allen grunts. LMK if you have a better suggestion

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well that’s certainly odd behavior. I guess they did it because they couldn’t get even 😢

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

My manager said “greatness comes in all shapes and sizes” yesterday while trying to compliment me and I’m pretty sure they were calling me fat

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

My friend still hasn’t texted me back and I’m worried I ruined the relationship. AITA?

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Crap, they finally caught me.

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Be advised, because my other small business idea is to sue people who steal my small business ideas, and I will now be tracking every one of my followers whereabouts and business doings until I expire.

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Hey guys, today I’ll be starting a series called “Small Business Ideas.” My first idea is to find a small town without a pest control company, start a pest control company, and then unleash a plague-like horde of pests upon them. Cha-Ching.

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

@PUNISHEDBOULDE2 It’s called multi-tasking. Clean out your intestines AND get drunk, name a better duo, I’ll wait

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and my family asking me when I'll be moving back to South Carolina.

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

@BeardedBuckets NonBeardedBuckets is a beautiful sight to behold! I’m honored to have shared this hairstyle with you

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Petition to bring back camera quality and hairstyle from 2013

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Correction: 2010. I’m embarrassed by this mistake and promise to do better in the future.

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

What James doesn’t know is that my student loans were marked for forgiveness when Jesus Christ died on the cross for them thousands of years ago

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Putin’s looking for a career change and is trying to use my account

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

They call it atrial FIBrillation when you fake a heart attack 🤣🤣🤣

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Let me know if you need anything for 2 cents or less on steam, I got you

[Ludwig Wittlessgenstein @witlessmogp]

Kierkegaard before and after interacting with a woman: