Big Boz

I'm way dumber than you take me for

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

@hairymelvin My condolences. He was always made me laugh

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

A 40oz of Mickeys, two packs of Ramen, Play Doh, a tee shirt that says " Bikini Inspector ", Xanadu on LaserDisc and a shy deaf-mute Norwegian prostitute #MySweetDreamsAreMadeOfThese

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

You could be super creepy and no one would say a damn thing #BestThingAboutBeingAKid

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

Your kid is only special to you. To the rest of us its just a little sociopath #AUniversallyAcceptedTruth

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

The Whole Foods loving vegan that tells you how healthy she is yet does every drug in the world at Cochella #OtherThingsAlanisFindsIronic

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

Big Bang #TriggerAConservativeIn2Words

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

Hillary Clinton
#TriggerAConservativeIn2Words

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

No one is safe #windmaggedon

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

Welcome to Maryland #windmaggedon

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

Wake and Bake.....blueberry muffins #BoringSpringBreakPlans

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

Body shots (flu, measles and other vaccinations) #BoringSpringBreakPlans

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

I was dead at the time#WeirdAlibis

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

I was in the hospital for " foreign object removal" #WeirdAlibis

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

I was banging my dog at the time #WeirdAlibis

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

#IfICouldIWouldBut I'm having major " peen" problems

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

#IfICouldIWouldBut I have diarrhea

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

The Orioles are using real birds for the infield #BadSpringTrainingSigns

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

Jesus Juice #BadPesticideNames

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

Jasper Chiggins' Box of Poison #BadPesticideNames

[Big Boz @WizardofBoz83]

What if I told you I could make your penis look younger in just 3 months. #UnlikelyTelemarketerPitches