Phil Yoakum

head writer on glee, previously the secretary of defense, the real mac miller.

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

Feds trying to put me in the chair like I just bar mitzvahed

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

If we’re homie and you need to barrow $1000 and you can’t pay me back no problem. If we make a bet for $1 and you don’t pay me I’ll kill you.

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

Some kid on a bmx bike just yelled HOOTERS at me

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

I can count to ten. Maybe I’ll become a trainer

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

Nobody roots for you more than the lady giving you a massage at the blackjack table

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

@TheShadowIntelX Seems clear he doesn’t understand

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

@injuryinvestor @FarroYossi @sneako I’ve been wanting to punch sneako myself

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

Black eyed peas all night tonight

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

@SinaiLawFirm 👏

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

Remember that two weeks when no one knew if they were supposed to insert or tap their credit cards?

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

Back in my day we used to fund the rebels by selling crack to our own people.

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Breaking News: President Trump said that the U.S. captured Nicolás Maduro, the Venezuelan leader, and that he is being flown out of the country. Follow live updates. https://t.co/4dVueHlPuX

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

If you invite someone to a basketball game and the seats are in the nose bleeds you MUST disclose that.

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

@injuryinvestor Banger

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

I love to gamble! So glad it isn’t addictive.

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

You can tie in football now?? I thought this was America, where there is always at least one loser.

[mari @MariellaRudi]

My story’s on the front page today. My first A1 byline for @latimes.

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

Out of all the states I can’t believe Alaska was the one who started an airline company.

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

@injuryinvestor What he said is true. lol

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

@manvtk I stopped doing shit I don’t want to years ago. Been really nice

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

Remember when you had to show ID when using a credit card!?

[Phil Yoakum @wlkinstick]

Deport the guy going 55 MPh in the fast lane, Not people at work.