Will Lyons

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

@thisleague ##mm mom is lm ml

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

This Lebron fake injured routine is infuriating

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

@comcast Watch out @GetSpectrum...we’ve got numbers

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

@ColonelClam @GetSpectrum @verizon @comcast @ATT @Drake @drake they need your help. Been without a squad for weeks!

[Cam Gallien @ColonelClam]

@wlyons19 @GetSpectrum @verizon @comcast @ATT Hey @Drake, by the looks of it you can accomplish almost anything...can you help us get our Wifi back so we can rip some Fortnite????

[Cam Gallien @ColonelClam]

Hey @GetSpectrum its been 2 weeks since we moved to our new house and we still don't have internet set up. Care to explain this terrible customer service???

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

Never ask Dan Lyons a stupid question

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

One of my kids put her blown up caprisun in my face and asked if there was any juice left. Found out the hard way after she squeezed it...

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

Student: Mr. Lyons I had a bagel this morning!
Me:Yum! What kind?!
Student: The bottom and then the top!

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

Me: Does anyone know what literacy means?
Student: Yeah it's like throwing trash on the ground!
Me: Basically

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

@ColonelClam 🤘

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

@ColonelClam @RapSheet 😭😭😭😭

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

@ColonelClam They're awesome live too @m_piantedosi

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

"Yo my ex-girlfriend is getting married today." -DB #oh

[Will Lyons @wlyons19]

Wifi and cable are out. I traded some cheese for my neighbors wifi password #desperatetimes