William Nix

I compete in ironmans and write novels now. (lol neither for a living... are you kidding me?)

[William Nix @wnix94]

My fiancé was singing “down with the sickness, down with the sickness”
And completely forgot about COVID 😳.

Not the freakin year honey.

[William Nix @wnix94]

My fiancé just decided that she does not like the brownie edges.

On a unrelated note; guess who just became the designated brownie crust eater....

[William Nix @wnix94]

Me saying goodbye to my girlfriend.
Options:
Love you
See you soon
Enjoy your show

Me: I hope the person you hate the most on the #voice wins the vote and stays in.

[William Nix @wnix94]

“Everything is a door if you try hard enough”

I did not try hard enoug on the side window of my dominoes....

[William Nix @wnix94]

@austinkleon Wow I had no idea this book was out. Going to go pick it up this afternoon 👍.

[William Nix @wnix94]

Just a heads up. Vegan leather is just plastic.

[William Nix @wnix94]

We should put nuclear waste in an instant pot. Those things are magical. Clean it right up.

[William Nix @wnix94]

Nobody:
Me: there’s a new episode of the cardigan show coming out this weekend!!!!
Can I get some hype for the next level of mediocre entertainment??

[William Nix @wnix94]

@badkaijuju 😂

[William Nix @wnix94]

@HiMyNamesRysha 1. Being open with my SO about how I’m feeling. Hearing myself say it out loud combined with their helpful feedback is a powerful combination. 2. Or channel the energy into working out. #lakehouselobbybuddy #keepbeingawesome

[Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds]

F for effort.

[William Nix @wnix94]

You know you need Wickipedia.
I just donated to @Wikipedia. Support free knowledge! #iloveWikipedia https://t.co/nm9J018Uc1

[William Nix @wnix94]

@alannakhubieh I don’t recommend doing ironmans. You’ll get monster thighs, but no abs.

[William Nix @wnix94]

I’m so glad eating someone else’s heart doesn’t give you an extra life.

[William Nix @wnix94]

I just found a brand new pair of boxers I forgot I bought. Good job brain. That’s a nice surprise... Now can you forget the time I wore white shorts on a school field trip and then slipped in the mud. That’d be great.

[William Nix @wnix94]

If you see a squirrel run straight across four lanes of traffic without stopping then you know that squirrel took his ADHD meds or he about to smash.

[William Nix @wnix94]

I’m just mad at Nike that their freerunner shoes have a 8mm heel drop. Like sheesh get on board with Altras already. #noheeldrop

[William Nix @wnix94]

I go the entire day and nothing bad happens and then I hiccup after eating icecream.
Me: I don’t deserve this.

[William Nix @wnix94]

I wonder how many books I could read if I stopped scrolling through social media feeds.

[William Nix @wnix94]

I came here to write novels and run ironmans...AND I’M ALL OUT OF IRONMANS (lol jk I have one in November, but I am writing again which is cool). #Writing