j bayardelle

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

If you set your alarm to when the liquor store opens you might have a problem.

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

Please stop saying "You can't joke about anything anymore". You can. You can joke about whatever the fuck you like. And some people won't like it and they will tell you they don't like it. And then it's up to you whether you give a fuck or not. And so on. It's a good system.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

@oh_cali brother and Omar, probably the best team in television history.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

RIP Frankie Sobotka

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

I like my women like I like my liquor, cheap and brown.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

I just found a hundred dollar bill in my underwear drawer. #paystobedrunk

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

I find that when my phones acting up giving it the finger seems to always work.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

They just converted the church across the street to a whorehouse/crack den.#doac#hopeidontendupthere#imightendupthere

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

Their should be an "are you sure you wanna say this" button after anyone tries to say anything on all forms of social media.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

5 Mexicans drinking coronas at 8AM in a parking lot across the street of my house. I wouldn't be that mad had they invited the me.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

@oh_cali well played sir, this one could go on all morning.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

@oh_cali in the words of prince aka Dave Chapelle " game blouses"

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

@chelsea_string @JenMoss8 I actually am supposed to be in at 530 braaaaaa.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

@JenMoss8 @chelsea_string I think I'm just gonna kill myself before I even go in.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

@JenMoss8 I wasn't gonna say it but this is why I won.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

#jaycleansupnice #ourmanagersarebeautiful @JenMoss8 @chelsea_string

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

When's the last time you called somebody a tramp? I'm bringing it back. Fuckin tramps.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

Fuck you thrones. I can't do this anymore.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

I'd like to take this time to formally apologize to my liver. Thanks for putting up with me buddy.

[j bayardelle @wokeupshoeless]

What a fuckin shit show last night. Bradley is a bitch. If I don't see random titties that have nothing to do with the plot I'll be pissed.