Jordan Jones

my name's rico and i like to party

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

Person:"omg how were you ever bullied?!!!"
Me:

[Library of Congress @librarycongress]

Hearing @lizzo play some of the Library's priceless antique instruments on Monday was such a gift, and we were honored and happy to help her share that gift with her concert audience Tuesday night. Here is some more behind-the-scenes footage of her Library tour. #LizzoAtLOC

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

@bp_three @cocokinnon @TheBasementNash @theivins @theinfamousher She looks good

[WINONA FIGHTER @winonafighter]

so what ur telling me is my bf can see boobies in literally any tv show or movie these days but i can’t even have full frontal bare ass R Patts in the new Batman ??? disrespectful tbh.

[Joe Amabile @AmabileJoe]

I always order fried calamari for take out hoping it won’t be soggy but it always is

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

@cocokinnon Def worth a RT queen

[WINONA FIGHTER @winonafighter]

ladies i was absolutely bloated busting out of my pants the past two times i’ve performed aND I STILL WORE THE FUCKING BRALETTE/CROP TOP AND HUNG FREE BECAUSE LITERALLY NO ONE GIVES A SHIT IF U R A BAD BITCH WHICH U R !!!

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

@cocokinnon Keep carrying on coco this tactic works I promise

[Nina Parker @theninaparker]

My mental exhaustion today is next level. Mama TIRED

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

No one warned me that most of parenthood is just keeping your child from killing himself in different ways

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

@AlexiaIscariot @NoPantsSoDance He’s 4 😂

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

@AlexiaIscariot @cathinator Mary can you send this to me

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

Yeah sex is cool but have u ever had a hard boiled egg peel off perfectly 🥚

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

Nothing says “sweet dreams” like the sound of your dog licking their butthole

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

Spare me the shame of asking if I want another round of chips just take the empty basket and replace them until it’s not empty. Same thing goes for bread homies

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

Is there a way to tell my lotion bottle that it is still half full and it doesn’t have to be so dramatic and act like it’s empty or will this just be forever

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

@AlexiaIscariot This poor woman

[Sorry, I'm Texan @SorryImTexan]

RT for Whataburger Like for In N Out

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

@sheesha_txt 1000% so I say “Pardon” instead and feel like a founding father every time

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

@houzz Lots of tickets under this order #

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

@houzz hi I can’t get a hold of anyone in customer service. Can I please get help?

[Jordan Jones @wolfandredbull]

@houzz 1666-2557-1715-0328