Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ)

Spoof tweets/writing trio/real moniker coined by press🐺Nick Petford🌋Ex-Uni of Northampton Vice Chancellor 2010-22📉Chair Oxford Biz College🩲Durham Uni VL🍻

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

FROM THE WRITERS:
Waiting for Nick Petford to leave UON at the end of July.

[Football Away Days @FBAwayDays]

The dinosaur York City fan… 🤣🦖

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Heatwave pool fun!!!🌞🤪🏖🕍🏊‍♂️ Hot as a volcano ere at UON today!!🌋
Tezza is wiv me.
'Best thing about Waterside is being in your swim pool on a hot day!' Tezza sayz while basting his tats. The 1978 anchor n chain is getting plenty of attention as is the 1995 babe with big titz.

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

So new pool for 2026!!! Went XXXlarge!! Just filled it up!! 💦 Not like that u mucky sods!🤣
Female,fit n up 4 laff?get down 2 near old ICLT @ Waterside!!
Bbq nearly ready!
Nick Allen on his way when he's out of mega boring meeting. He's prebooked da pink flamingo inflatable!!🤣

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Janet's just razoring my back for me.

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

FFS!! Wet fart just before addressing Wellingborough Probus meeting!!! 😱😱😱💩💩
TENA wasn't sufficient. Janet got my spare Y-fronts & jeans from her car.

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

In the deckchair outside da motorhome.
Close my eyes & pretend it's the gorgeous Cote d'Azur. Blue skies, warm sea breeze, cold beerz......
Screaming yobs, skidding tyres & police sirens bring me rite back to Waterside in Northampton!!

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

For those who complain there's not enough academic content on here:
Using my new chemistry set (😍Annie😍bought me for Christmas) to analyse campus soil & rock samples!!
Did we build Waterside on a massive unknown volcano🌋or are my eggy farts contaminating the results??🤔🤔🤔

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Dammit Janet, those are the wrong TENA pads!!

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Went on an adventure at Waterside n pretended a volcano woz going boom in the library!!🌋Deploy mega strength stink bombs !!
Peeps retching & actually spewing!!🤮🤣🤣 Leave as library being closed.
Now down 'Spoons with me ol mucker Deb Matters. Clink pints & talk of old tymes.🍻

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Motorhome door iced shut & some lads are rocking the vehicle back n forth!! Called Security who arrived & are livestreaming it on their Facebook page!!!

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

'Crimbo in the caravan?' WhatsApps our Matters.
'Motorhome, dear!' I reply.
Loadz presents 4 me!! Took ages 2 wrap em.
Turkey nuggetz 4 Xmas dinner.
Big snogz wiv my Resusci Annie under mistletoe! Tongues!!!!
My writers wish all a Happy Christmas...... even the real Nick Petford!

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

My Xmas card 2 Shâny came back as return to sender!!! She knew it woz mine even wiv Nick Allen's handwriting on front!! Think she saw da titties thru envelope.
Thanx 2 my management when she was my deputy, she is now VC at Middlesexy.
Here she is looking casual but older tbf.🤣🤣

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

According to Becks Bradshaw I'm like Annoying Orange!!
'But at least Annoying Orange is useful as he can be eaten.'
Wud never av got that disrespect off old Shânybabes!!

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Tezza's getting on my tits!
We were skulking around the Waterside library when he yelled 'F###!!' 5 times!
An assistant then asked ME to leave!! Told her it was Tez but she said 'We know what you're like. Please go.'
As escorted out, I looked back & saw Tez laffing & videoing me!

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Tezza's back in town!!! Just got me in neckhold until I agree to type his name!! OK Terry Neville, there you go! Former UON Chief Operating Officer. Still top wrestler, big belly, bluddy tight grip, grannies in audience luv him. Going down Spoons wiv me, Nick Allen n Deb Matters.

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Not this again!!! Some bugger has dropped a latte on me from a great height in the Creative Hub!!! Caramel latte actually. Bluddy soaked!! Security man says 1st and 2nd floor CCTV not working today.

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Argument wiv postman. Bro asks
'Why shud I go across a muddy field 2 reach your heap of junk?!'
I reply it's his job & this motorhome is an Excelsior Supreme.
'Get a real address!!' he sayz.
I tell him to PO! (not Post Office)
He sayz
'In future mail can b collected from Senate.'

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Diarrhoea. Why? Bluddy why??!!
Not helped by Tezza Neville standing outside the motorhome bog door saying I'm a moron!

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Oh what a night!! 🤣🤣🎆 🎇🔥 🚒🚓

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Who put boxes of fireworks in my bonfire???!! Rockets now going off randomly!! Some bad boy mortars!! I'm sure the damage to the Senate won't turn out to be as serious as it looks now!

WRITERS:
Genuine images from the infamous Waterside Campus fireworks disorder of Nov 5 2018.

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

🤣🤣🤣

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

When Marketing hope that no will remember.....
& then some vindictive sod shares the link again!😉😉🐺😉😉🐺

BBC News: Fireworks let off near people on campus
https://t.co/a1LhDDPzu2

WRITERS' COMMENT:
Genuine disorder at UON Waterside on Nov 5 2018. Seen this @AM_Kilday ?

[Wolf of Northampton (now includz Oxford!) (ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ) @wolfnorthampton]

Found my poppy from last year & flattened out the creases.
Tbf it's about 20 yrs old now. Always like 2 show my support.