haret

epitome of a dark haired bore

[haret @wolfshrew]

Turns out my blood pressure is only high because my veins are filled with worms so there is less room for blood.

[haret @wolfshrew]

Yr mom ever say this to you and your head flies off and hits the wall?

[haret @wolfshrew]

@allisoncloetta @jadedubya Yes very twee a la Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist

[haret @wolfshrew]

My partner calls me his girlfriend, fiancé, and wife on Twitter…I’m like, WHICH IS IT, pardner???

[haret @wolfshrew]

Are boneless skinless chicken thighs middle class?

[haret @wolfshrew]

My Gen Z kitten is zero waste because her favorite toys are pieces of trash.

[haret @wolfshrew]

@yrennet @sandwich__dad Here comes the bride, all dressed in Jincos 🤘

[haret @wolfshrew]

Thank god inflation hasn’t hit on instant mashed potatoes!

[haret @wolfshrew]

@sandwich__dad 🙄

[haret @wolfshrew]

If you don’t spend over $15 a week on pickles and olives then you’re not a real pickle girl.

[haret @wolfshrew]

Have you ever noticed how many bugs are in the mailbox

[haret @wolfshrew]

I just had covid and my weirdest symptom was homicidal rage.

[haret @wolfshrew]

I like to refer to Beyoncé as “Solange’s sister”

[haret @wolfshrew]

@jadedubya I def love you

[haret @wolfshrew]

This is your sign to remind your straight boyfriend that he ain’t shit.

[haret @wolfshrew]

Ready to be a stay at home farm wife and get a couple acres out in Slaughterville.

[haret @wolfshrew]

@foreveaendeavor my cat died a year ago, Dec 2021, and I still sleep with her ashes at my bedside.

[haret @wolfshrew]

The oldest living dog is 21 years old, the oldest living cat is 3,666.

[haret @wolfshrew]

Hope all my online xanga boyfriends of the past rot in hell.

[haret @wolfshrew]

@jadedubya Send pics, I love old shit!

[haret @wolfshrew]

@sandwich__dad @jadedubya help