pa vent out lang.. I know this is not a space for this but I really wanted to let it all out since I need to clear my head while papa is inside the operating room.
For the past month, problems has been continuously piling up.. from medical emergencies, death of family members, to financial struggles. I'm not a bread winner since my dad is still working and we're a family of three only.
Pero iba pala yung ikaw na need tumayo para sa lahat. Takot ako sa problems sa totoo lang kasi ayokong may mga tao akong naaabala or even sakin. Naseseperate ko yung work and life problem because sa work I know that hindi ko yun dadalhin pag uwi but if like personal or other problems na dun ako nahihirapan..
Since nag sunod sunod incident namin na me being admitted in the hosp a month ago to my lola (mom's mom) death to my dad's recent accident that him ended up having multiple surgeries.
Ang hirap pala pag lahat nakadepende na sayo. I have no complaints tho kasi I would literally do anything for my family kasi natatakot ako na baka mawala din sila agad like my mom..
Pero bilib ako sa mga tao na kaya lahat to.. kasi ako hindi ko nalang alam paano pa ako nakakasurvive? Lalo na sunod sunod na incident..
I just really want to rest for a while, yung tipong mawawala lang saglit kasi gusto ko huminga kasi sobrang nakakadrain pero bawal π
Kung sino man talaga nag eevil eye sakin pls lang π
I had to give up going to caratland for this even tho gusto nya na pumunta ako.. plus visa is still not released so either way ito talaga yung sign na I had to let go muna sa caratland..
ayoko din maging anak na sobrang selfish naman na uunahin ko pa yun but I know there will be a next time..
kinakabahan ako kasi grabe na naman yung trauma pag naiisip ko last year sa hospital.. mama went to heaven, now I know hindi naman too risky sa condition ni papa but ewan hindi padin ako panatag