Courtney Churukian

Fight on ✌🏼 Vert et Or ⚜️

[Corporate Dudes @corporatedudes]

“And every four years we will care about soccer and get very into it”

“Will we start watching soccer?”

“We will not”

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the U.K. but ‘canceled’ in the U.S.?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

[Cernovich @Cernovich]

"You say you don't go to Church because it's full of hypocrites there? I say you're right, but come anyway, we've got room for one more." - Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

[Jon Tweets Sports @jontweetssports]

I watched a guy run a sub-six-minute mile pace ... uphill ... on skis

while I ate a Reese's Blizzard from Dairy Queen (with extra Reese's)

[Fancy Boots @TexasFancyBoots]

Not for nothing, but AI could NEVER come up with the unhinged marketing brilliance that brought the Pop-Tarts Bowl to life.

[Scarlett Johnson @scarlett4kids]

“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”
-Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

[Popeyes @Popeyes]

pope yes

[SpurgeonBooks @SpurgeonBooks]

“When God himself is our Comforter no anguish can long abide.”

— Charles Spurgeon

[SpurgeonBooks @SpurgeonBooks]

"God does not need your strength; he has more than enough on his own.
He asks your weakness, he has none of that."

— Charles Spurgeon

[Natania Marshall ✞ @NataniaMarshall]

Day before the election: Jesus is King.
Day after the election: Jesus is still King.

[SpurgeonBooks @SpurgeonBooks]

“Never did I meet a Christian who, in his old age, said that he had made a mistake in relying upon Christ as his Savior.”

— Charles Spurgeon

[Mr. Edgelord Walmart Guy @ASo1omons]

Todd: Our home number is XXX-XXX-1073. You have the same name as my wife. Lisa. We’ve been married for 10 years. She’s pregnant with our 3rd child. Tell her that I love her (choking up) I’ll always love her..(clearing throat) We have two boys. David, he’s 3 and Andrew, he’s 1. Tell them (choking) tell them that their daddy loves them and that he is so proud of them. (clearing throat again) Our baby is due January 12th. I saw an ultra sound. It was great. We still don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy ... ... ... Lisa?

Lisa: (barely able to speak) I’ll tell them, I promise Todd.

Todd: I’m going back to the group -- if I can get back I will...

Lisa: Todd, leave this line open...are you still there?

Lisa: (dials the phone) Hello, FBI, my name is Lisa Jefferson, I’m a telephone supervisor for GTE. I need to report a terrorist hijacking of a United Airlines Flight 93...Yes I’ll hold.

Goodwin: Hello, this is Agent Goodwin. I understand you have a hijacking situation?

Lisa: Yes sir, I’ve been talking with a passenger, a Todd Beamer, on Flight 93 who managed to get to an air phone unnoticed.

Goodwin: Where did this flight originate, and what was its destination?

Lisa: The flight left Newark New Jersey at 8 A.M. departing for San Francisco. The hijackers took over the plane shortly after takeoff, and several minutes later the plane changed course -- it is now flying east.

Goodwin: Ms. Jefferson, I need to talk to someone aboard that plane. Can you get me thru to the planes phone?

Lisa: I still have that line open sir, I can patch you through on a conference call. Hold a mo...

Todd: Hello Lisa, Lisa are you there?

Lisa: Yes, I’m here. Todd, I made a call to the FBI, Agent Goodwin is on the line and will be talking to you as well.

Todd: The others all know that this isn’t your normal hijacking. Jeremy called his wife again on his cell phone. She told him more about the World Trade Center and all.

Goodwin: Hello Todd. This is Agent Goodwin with the FBI. We have been monitoring your flight. Your plane is on a course for Washington, DC. These terrorists sent two planes into the World Trade Center and one plane into the Pentagon. Our best guess is that they plan to fly your plane into either the White House or the United States Capital Building.

Todd: I understand. Hold on...I’ll...I’ll be back..

Lisa: Mr. Goodwin, how much time do they have before they get to Washington?

Goodwin: Not long ma’am. They changed course over Cleveland; they’re approaching Pittsburgh now. Washington may be twenty minutes away.

Todd: (breathing a little heavier) The plane seems to be changing directions just a little. It’s getting pretty rough up here. The plane is flying real erratic. We’re not going to make it out of here. Listen to me. I want you to hear this. I have talked with the others -- we have decided we would not be pawns in these hijackers suicidal plot.

Lisa: Todd, what are you going to do?

Todd: We’ve hatched a plan. Four of us are going to rush the hijacker with the bomb. After we take him out, we’ll break into the cockpit. A stewardess is getting some boiling water to throw on the hijackers at the controls. We’ll get them and we’ll take them out. Lisa, will you do one last thing for me?

Lisa: Yes. What is it?

Todd: Would you pray with me?

They pray

Todd: (softer) God help me...Jesus help me...(clears throat and louder)

Todd: Are you guys ready?

Todd Morgan Beamer: Let’s Roll...

[Mr. Edgelord Walmart Guy @ASo1omons]

Todd: Hello. Operator. Listen to me -- I can’t speak very loud. This is an emergency. I’m a passenger on a United flight to San Francisco. We have a situation here. Our plane has been hijacked. Can you understand me?

Lisa: (exhaling a deep breath to herself) I understand. Can the hijackers see you talking on the phone?

Todd: No.

Lisa: Can you tell me how many hijackers are on the plane?

Todd: There are three that we know of.

Lisa: Can you see any weapons? What kind of weapons do they have?

Todd: Yes. They don’t have guns. They have knives – they took over the plane with knives.

Lisa: Do you mean -- like steak knives?

Todd: No, these are razor knives -- like box cutters.

Lisa: Can you tell what country these people are from?

Todd: No -- I don’t know. They sound like they’re from the mid-east.

Lisa: Have they said what they want?

Todd: Someone announced from the cockpit that there was a bomb on board. He said he was the captain and to stay in our seats and stay quiet.
He said that they were meeting these men’s demands and returning to the airport. It was very broken English, and...I’m telling you...it sounded fake!

Lisa: Ok sir, please give me your name.

Todd: My name is Todd Beamer.

Lisa: Ok Todd, my name is Lisa. Do you know your flight number? If you can’t remember, it’s on your ticket.

Todd: It’s United Flight 93.

Lisa: Now Todd, can you try to tell me exactly what happened?

Todd: Two of the hijackers were sitting in first class near the cockpit. A third one was sitting near the back of the coach section. The two up front got into the cockpit somehow; there was shouting. The third hijacker said he had a bomb. It looks like a bomb. He’s got it tied to his waist with a red belt of some kind.

Lisa: So is the door to the cockpit open?

Todd: No, the hijackers shut it behind them.

Lisa: Has anyone been injured?

Todd: Yes, they…they killed one passenger sitting in first class. There’s been lots of shouting. We don’t know if the pilots are dead or alive. A flight attendant told me that the pilot and copilot had been forced from the cockpit and may have been wounded.

Lisa: Where is the 3rd hijacker now Todd?

Todd: He’s near the back of the plane. They forced most of the passengers into first class. There are fourteen of us here in the back. Five are flight attendants. He hasn’t noticed that I slipped into this pantry to get the phone. The guy with the bomb ordered us to sit on the floor in the rear of the plane...oh Jesus...HELP!

Lisa: Todd, are you ok? Tell me what’s happening!

Todd: Hello. We’re going down. I think we’re going to crash. Wait – wait a minute. No, we’re leveling off...we’re ok. I think we may be turning around. That’s it – we changed directions. Do you hear me? We’re flying east again.

Lisa: Ok Todd, what’s going on with the other passengers?

Todd: Everyone is really scared. A few passengers with cell phones have made calls to relatives. A guy, Jeremy, was talking to his wife just before the hijacking started. She told him that hijackers had crashed two planes into the World Trade Center. Lisa is that true??

Lisa: Todd, I have to tell you the truth. It’s very bad. The World Trade Center is gone. Both of the towers have been destroyed.

Todd: Oh God -- help us!

Lisa: A third plane was taken over by terrorists. It crashed into the Pentagon in Washington DC. Our country is under attack, and I’m afraid that your plane may be part of their plan.

Todd: Oh dear God. Dear God... Lisa, will you do something for me?

Lisa: I’ll try if I can. Yes.

Todd: I want you to call my wife and my kids for me and tell them what’s happened. Promise me you’ll call..

Lisa: I promise – I’ll call.

[Americana at Brand Memes @americanamemes]

Live video of me during the earthquake trying to remember if I’m supposed to get under a table or get in the doorway:

[Caroline Renard @carolinerenard_]

Earthquake Twitter is my favorite communal LA thing.

[Americana at Brand Memes @americanamemes]

That earthquake signaled the official start of the 2028 LA Olympics!

[Katie Ledecky @katieledecky]

C is for Cookie… that’s good enough for me 🥇

[SpurgeonBooks @SpurgeonBooks]

"God's delays are not denials."

— Charles Spurgeon

[Matt Kennedy @lambeth981]

I have four daughters. That means I have spent approximately 1/3 of my fatherly life watching the six hour version of Pride and Prejudice.