El Patrón 🌍🇸🇱👩🏾‍💻

Data Analyst Nerd, World Traveler, Sierra Leonean, Married to an Elladá man

[🌷 Nik 🌷 @ladynimala]

And when Mary needed a husband God gave her a man who'd raise a son that wasn't his.

[Olamzy @madebyolah]

SORRY IF THIS OFFENDS RESTAURANT OWNERS, BUT THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

I sat down at a table last night, and there were no physical menus.

Just a laminated QR code taped to the wood.

I had to pull out my phone, scan the code, navigate a laggy menu website, put in my own order, and type in my credit card details.

A runner brought the food to the table 20 minutes later.

Then the digital checkout screen defaulted to a 22% tip prompt.

FOR WHAT?

You eliminated the host, eliminated the server taking orders, forced me to use my own mobile device and cellular data, and then asked for a 22% tip for order entry I completed myself?

THAT IS NOT A HOSPITALITY EXPERIENCE.

THAT IS AN UNPAID CUSTOMER WORKFLOW WITH A FORCED TIP PROMPT ATTACHED.

[disco barbie @annabesss]

hey so everyone involved in this should be fired

[Pree @diabolicalpree]

I have to get gas today

[𝙎𝘼𝙈𝙎𝙊𝙉 @SamIsNotOff]

@esjesjesj Pretty sure D breaks reality so I’m gonna go with C

[Boo @333too3]

I'm putting my 6 yo to bed and he says, "Dad, I have kidneys. You have Dadneys."
I'm. So. Proud.

[p @froyoandbands]

WILL KEEP CLAPPING UNTIL IT IS MY TURN BECAUSE IT WILL BE MY TURN VERY VERY SOON

[feyisayo 💸 @feyiszn]

Please date someone who actually wants to experience life with you. Not just dinner & sex. I’m taking Museums, cooking classes, festivals, pottery, concerts, bookstores, road trips, random adventures.. EVERYTHING.

[𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙽𝙸𝙰 @Anania00]

Law Roach when Order Beetle walks in the room

[luca @LucaGuadagnegro]

always a new sentence being crafted by *Translated from Portuguese*

[Dad @achiever4L]

When you become a detective but your first case is a message that says “wanna play?” written in human intestines so you just quit the job

[Roz: Rare N Deluxe 🚧 @WRSTWNKINAMRICA]

Ice Spice when Immigrant Sugar walks in

[max 🇮🇷 𓄂☼ @firstboyonmoon]

United Kingdom when Divided Queensub walks in

[Danica | Finance & Travel @danicaSnelson]

Sometimes the point of the trip is to eat something good, stare at a body of water, and remember who tf you are.

You don't always have to have a jam-packed itinerary!

[W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94]

I always laugh when they romanticize the Crusades because it’s like did you even bother to look into who won those? Lmao like the Muslims pack them boys up 8 times in a row 😂

[22 @kbhihighkbhilow]

Sometimes i do think about getting married cooking nice food for the loml decorating our little home and building a life together and Then I look at married women around me including my mother and the fantasy expires immediately.

[Broward Stern @KnowbodysTweets]

Nah they just burned crosses and bombed Black neighborhoods and churches

[𖤐 @drkwintertokyoo]

I #really should've killed myself when i was a teenager like I had originally planned

[BUGG 🐞 @BuggHive]

"Because the request was to remove the fake gods. Jesus did not qualify."