Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch

My new life doesn't know I have this account so this is where I can be unhinged with reckless abandon. (she / they)

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

I made the best art when I was thoroughly loved in ways I wanted or when I was alone.

Emotional homeostasis.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

Oh and we both lived with our parents prior to purchasing our home so we only really had to pay for our cars and cell phone bills which helped us save up for our furniture and whatnot.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

My ex and I put down $7k on a $80k house. The money came from our tax returns.

[Josh Kruger @JoshKrugerPHL]

If you are a Millennial or younger homeowner talking about homeownership, you have an ethical duty to disclose the source of your down payment and closing costs.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

"Don't even view me as an individual but a much larger and intricate vibrator."

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

Got woken up at 3 am to a shower of sleepy kisses. What a dream

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

"It's butt solidarity"

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

I'm queer. FYI.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

I did it. I paid off my house.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

So I quit my corporate job to be the garden witch artist 🧙🏾‍♀️ of my dreams.

Been thinking hella hard about paying off the rest of my mortgage with my 401k.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

If you're a Sagittarius or a Gemini and you don't want to fall in love, don't make a collaborative playlist with anyone who share the same music tastes as you.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

"What's the curvature of dat ass?"

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

Everything on the internet is advising me not to... But all these "finance experts" are informed by capitalism so of course they're gonna say being debt free before you're 40 is bad.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

So I quit my corporate job to be the garden witch artist 🧙🏾‍♀️ of my dreams.

Been thinking hella hard about paying off the rest of my mortgage with my 401k.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

@tragic_monster Thanks friend. It was good while it lasted but this is better.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

I have "get divorced" on my to-do list today.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

The issue is... People treat love as just a feeling. Love is a verb. ACT on love.

[pyramid head apologist @sab_weenuh]

IM AM DRY HEAVING THE FUCKNG SCREAM

[🌬️CARIANNA🌾 @cari_mclellan]

@sab_weenuh 😭 lady said:

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

The bar for men is real fucking low, brah. Like hella.

I'm over here wondering if I made the right decision trying to gaslight myself.

[Friendly Neighborhood Garden Witch @wow_trees]

I'm tired. I just need someone to pay all my damn bills so I can make art, hang out with my dogs, and appreciate life.