definitely not emily

if you ever need proof that I’m funny, just look at my cousin’s twitter, I’m hilarious there

[definitely not emily @wowreallyemily]

I have as much coleslaw as I have Diet Coke this is the worst day of my life

[PoliticsGirl @IAmPoliticsGirl]

I give this a thumbs down. 👎

[definitely not emily @wowreallyemily]

@taylornation13 @Pixar @toystory @taylorswift13 There were times we could fight like brothers…but love has a way of bringing things back to life!! Man, it’s been a while 🥲❤️☁️ @taylorswift13 @taylornation13 #IKnewItIKnewYou

[MAGA Cult Slayer @MAGACult2]

Tell yourself whatever eases your conscience, but here’s the truth as to what we are doing to our children and I for one I am really sick and tired of people not taking notice and making changes. Breaks my heart.

[Mens_Corner__ @Mens_Corner__]

I think he'll get a call from HR

[Josh Walkos @JoshWalkos]

This guy is calling a hospital on behalf of a new mom who was charged $1,847,392 because her baby was premature and needed to stay alive long enough to come home.

The itemized charges are dystopian. $37,464 for heel sticks on a premature infant, $58 every time a mother held her own baby skin-to-skin in the NICU, $312 for discharge teaching on how to sponge bathe a preemie and $27,590 for phototherapy lights. That’s before even getting into the NICU bed charges.

Our medical system is one of the most corrupt, exploitative and evil rackets in the world.

[Ultima @UltimaShadowX]

I can’t hear anyone talk about Star Wars Day anymore without thinking about this video:

[ᴘᴏᴛᴀᴛᴜᴍ @pot8um]

THANK YOU GENERATIVE AI USERS

[Cakes McGee @CakesMcGee305]

@_alyssssssac @LourentYves When France tried to raise the age of retirement, their citizens nearly burned down the city. Americans take note.

[MAGA Cult Slayer @MAGACult2]

Look how they treat troops that are actively deploying

[sarah @sahouraxo]

Greta Thunberg:

“The President of the United States just said an entire civilization will die tonight, and never be brought back again, and no one is reacting.

This speaks for itself.

We have normalized genocide.
We have normalized the annihilation of entire peoples.
We have normalized the systematic destruction of the biosphere we all depend on.
We have normalized corrupt, racist war criminals acting with total impunity.

But it is not too late to say: STOP. If we don’t, we have no right to call ourselves human.”

[Sakshi Narula @mssakshinarula]

Just one picture of a woman being so successful and doing something no woman ever has, has a few small men seething in the comments. She is the engineering expert on the crew and every video of her is better than the last. This is her in 2023 and now. Christina Koch is special❤️

[reb @rebmasel]

Carroll, now a bright spot on our Moon, because four people, who traveled farther from Earth than any human in the 4.5-billion-year history of Earth has ever been, loved someone so much, they carried her the whole way there.

[Meidas_Charise Lee @charise_lee]

GREED‼️

[Fake Muppet Show Guests @MuppetGuests]

Get ready for a Game Changer! On tonight's show:

It's not easy being him, Kermit the Frog!

He'll have you in stitches, Fozzie Bear!

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's whatever, it's Gonzo!

[definitely not emily @wowreallyemily]

@Brainrots54 @GeauxGabrielle Back assumes they were gone in the first place, which the never were, ask your local epidemiologist

[g. @GeauxGabrielle]

Rabies is 100% fatal if you don’t get that vaccine AND the US only has enough smallpox vaccines stockpiled for the Armed Forces. We test to keep it out of gen pop cause it’s OVER if it becomes endemic again.

Thanks MAGA

[BlackSword @Blacksword011]

Granny at No King's Protest says it's not safe for Black people to protest

[definitely not emily @wowreallyemily]

We’ve only been saying this since we entered the workforce, will they listen yet?

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

Gen Z and millennials are burnt out because older generations had much easier lives while working far less hard, per FORTUNE.

[Cheng Lou @_chenglou]

My dear front-end developers (and anyone who’s interested in the future of interfaces):

I have crawled through depths of hell to bring you, for the foreseeable years, one of the more important foundational pieces of UI engineering (if not in implementation then certainly at least in concept):
Fast, accurate and comprehensive userland text measurement algorithm in pure TypeScript, usable for laying out entire web pages without CSS, bypassing DOM measurements and reflow