blue52

undersocialized and a little traumatized

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

Life is a highway and I’m a chicken that wants to cross the road

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

Sometimes you make someone homemade kimchi and sometimes they leave

[Gabrielle @gabbilicious04]

establishing dominance by being the naked window neighbor

[g @34rths]

I genuinely bring nothing to the table #Cheers

[َ @khlou1d]

حين تجد في التخلّي تجلّي

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

Sometimes you gotta pour your grief and despair somewhere

Homemade kimchi

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

No edge, no body of water, no cliff, no 30th floor drop can take my despair and grief away

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

No edge, no body of water, no cliff, no 30th floor drop can take my despair and grief away

[gem @giannascoli]

if alcohol can shorten your memory imagine what alcohol can do

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

Has no one ever looked at me & thought: "she's worth something" has no one ever had the instinct to keep me bc they saw something in me that i don't even know exists & decided "i want that with me" & fight to keep it? Will i always be stunned by how easy it is to be abandoned?

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

I don't have any claw marks on me, l've never left anyone or abandoned the ones i love. I am scratch-less and without any wounds of desperation to be kept, no one has ever fought for me or fought i keep me. Am i that easy to discard? Am i really that worthless and valueless?

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

I know I'm not the best at anything or particularly special. I know nothing about my typical brown eyes & brown hair stands out, i know my face blends into a million other, i know my personality is ordinary and i'm not the brightest but is it truly that hard to want to want me?

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

I'm a lot like a rabid dog i don't know what has possessed me & I'm fighting my inevitable

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

I wish I was someone who knew when to quit, when to stop, when to give up. I wish I could have fear and self-preservation instead of fight and self-destruction. I wish I wasn't willing to burn myself and the entire world for the things I believe in and love

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

I'm such a hassle & a waste to fight for, I get it & I'm exhausting for it. Maybe that's why I'm alone and that will always be the case. I don't know when to stop, stopping means it's over, my hands are tied

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

Everything that I wanted, everything that l've needed has been a battle that took everything out of me to get. I would do it all again and fight viciously for it bc I get to have it and hold it.
Everything in my life is a confrontation and a fucking blood-field

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

It's exhausting, it's annoying & a headache and it has become the marker of my existence; any time the wind changes I prepare for battle while they get up & leave. Even when i know its coming, its never any less of that heart-ripping-gut-wrenching pain

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

They never asked for this, they don't want this. If I wasn't always seated waiting for the sound of battle things wouldn't be as chaotic and intense for them, the ones whose choice is to move on, to give up and be peaceful

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

I wish I wasn't dealt a life of battles and bloodstained wants and dented-barely-functioning needs bc everything I have, everything | got had to be a fight. To me, it makes it so much more valuable, to everybody else, it's an easy discard, an exhausting thing to deal with

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

I wish I was a different person, I wish I didn't feel this intensely. If I didn't believe as deeply, if I didn't care as passionately, things would be easier for the ones around me. The ones I fight for, the ones I fight because of, the ones I'm willing to do everything for

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

Sometimes you gotta make a meal and just stare at it for 6 hours

[blue52 @wowsobluee]

@itkowla unfortunately queen we’ll always just be that: a fun time experience