Dr. Justin Congrego

freelance gynecologist | crossword aficionado | back to back mommas boy of the year

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Funniest joke ever is too long for Twitter, but it's about a duck that walks into a bar day after day, asking, "Got any grapes?" If someone knows it, tell someone else.

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

I love looking into funhouse mirrors. It’s where I be long

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

If your bar doesn’t have coat hooks tucked beneath the bar your bar is not a good bar

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

@RickyBowlstein I hope all my dogs keep moving up

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

Landing the “Fits Like A” account must’ve been pretty huge for the glove community

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

@j_taubz @horridibujos What are you even talking about anymore man

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

Bouncer named Grant Entry

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

Stop drinking cokes with the popes and come enjoy a diet cola with the ayatollah

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

@RickyBowlstein I could almost see your little ears perk up

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

@RickyBowlstein Real #putthemfeettogether

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

@liljerseygal What did you guess

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

My heart aches for the day that I can hear those two numbers and not have every hair on the back of my neck stand at attention

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

Fuck doohickeys, marry trinkets, kill gizmos

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

@j_taubz This is like asking Courtney Love to host a show about healthy marriages

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

Your hours of operation never cease to amaze, gay little coffee shop

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

Doing dry January (drinking too much and not eliciting sexual arousal from any women under any circumstance)

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

Your girl shows up to my crib unannounced that’s my intrusive thot

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

“He means well” is worse than any slur I’ve ever heard

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

“We don’t have Coors on tap but I have cans” Trust me sweetheart I clocked em when I walked in the room. Miller is fine.

[Dr. Justin Congrego @wrecksteener]

Comptroller gotta be one of the more made up words out there