Melanie Herring

I'm kinda psycho.

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@tie_jackets Your name is Smile Buddy, I'm pretty sure I can manage that one! (No but seriously your name is only 3 letters why is that so hard?)

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@gayaquarius Mom at least doesn't have a history of totalling cars.

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@jephjacques I slice them in half and sprinkle them with Old Bay. Not as easy as just popping them in your mouth, though.

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@gayaquarius Are they at least attractive?

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@jephjacques My favorite Japanese soft drink was always Green Lemonade. Hated Calpis, though. The milkiness of it combined with the citrus was just... weird.

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

Submitting some applications this week because I hate my work environment. Please someone hire me! I'm friendly and I work hard!

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@curlsandwine Everything you just tweeted is how I feel 24/7. #retailhell

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@cozydoe I've always been a big fan of Samsung, even the non-galaxy ones.

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@HerInteractive SAW

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@HerInteractive I need this. @shovellover

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

Opening the store at 8 a.m. on Christmas Eve when you're not anyone's destination for last-minute gifts is obnoxious. It's gonna be ridiculously slow.

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@cozydoe Because clearly we aren't people, we're sales robots.

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@CaityBecky27 As long as you end up married to the person you love when all is said and done, their opinions don't matter!

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@acarlucci71 They're my favorite because the legs stay their correct length when you wash them instead of shrinking like all my pajama pants do!

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@acarlucci71 Try LazyOne pajamas. They're fantastic, and they have at least one pocket

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@Inkd291 Literally don't even see the appeal.

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@acarlucci71 Her uterus would have rolled its eyes, too, if it had any!

[Melanie Herring @writergirl91]

@gayaquarius Can i hide with you for the rest of the week?

[Bess Kalb @bessbell]

Ladies bear with me I haven't slept enough this week but if we hide all the guns in our vaginas, Congress will HAVE to regulate them!!!