cable: i’m proud to say i identify as morosexual. i’m attracted to dumbassess and dumbassess exclusively
wade: is dubstep still a thing in the future? what about sharknado?
cable, already taking off his clothes: wade, you’re so fucking stupid
wade: what do you call a dictionary on drugs?
cable: if you say “addictionary” i swear i will cut you.
wade: i was gonna say “high definition” but yours is better.
wade: i ain’t talking.
cable: [sharpens a knife, menacingly] i got a way of making people talk.
cable: [cuts a slice of cake]
wade: can i have some?
cable: cake is for talkers.
wade: scientifically, it's fucked up that humans drink the milk of other animals when we can make our own.
wade: like, you don't see rhinos sucking on a goat titty for milk.
cable: ... how high are you?
wade:
wade: yes.
wade: here you go, cable, a nice hot cup of coffee.
cable: it's cold.
wade: nice cup of coffee.
cable: it tastes horrible.
wade: cup of coffee.
cable: i'm not even sure this is coffee.
wade: cup.
cable: [sees someone doing something stupid and reckless.]
cable: what a fucking dumbass.
cable: [sees that it's wade.]
cable: wait a minute, that's MY dumbass.
wade: met a dumbass today. awful.
cable: you looked in a mirror?
wade: someday you will have to answer for your actions, and god may not be so merciful.
wade, in the shower: [horrible, out of tune singing]
cable, from outside the bathroom: WILL YOU QUIT SINGING?
wade: WHEN I AM IN THE SHOWER, TWO THINGS ARE FREE. MY BALLS AND MY SOUL.