slutty sally

I've been to Canada. Anti-vegan. Pro-abortion.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

What it’s like living in the Bay Area in 2020? Constantly saying to yourself while driving, “Dont accidentally hit that Tesla. Don’t accidentally hit that Tesla.”

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

Sunshine is my Prozac. #SAD

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

Goal today of trying to get the perfect amount of edible right now.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

I’ve really spoiled myself. I now refuse eat a banana without peanut butter.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

Ugh. I hate my joints. Not my weed joints, those are good. My joint joints.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

I’m 100% positive that I will never get sick of freshly laundered sheets and when newly shaven legs meet.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

Me at 35: damn, I think adding that second night a week of softball was too much for my body

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

You are more amazing than you can even begin to comprehend, and you’re pretending that you’re not.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

Anyone else see a couple of muscular, tan well-groomed men and automatically think they’re gay?

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

@NotThatKindaDoc @Stitcher That’s never good

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

A sign of adulthood: I don’t lick every spoon after use before I wash it.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

Tomorrow is going to be a fun day. Tomorrow I get to find out whether or not my job pays me less because I’m a woman or because I’m not as good as my male counterparts.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

@brocrush Kevin

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

A main staple in my diet this week is ricola.
Here I come, summer beach body!

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

Anyone else pay for a gym membership they have just in case?

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

I just wondered around my kitchen eating cheese, watermelon, macaroni and cheese and watermelon, squeezing multiple limes and lemons in my water while wondering if the weed kicked in.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

Sometimes all you need in life is a good poop or two.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

Sometimes I think I need therapy. Surprise of the day, I’m sure.

[slutty sally @wrongsincebirth]

Immediately when I land in #Vegasbaby, “so where’s my drink and when can we start gambling?”As soon as I do, “well that was overrated in my brain.”

[Satan @s8n]

I don’t care who or what you are, I don’t judge. Just sin and enjoy your life and you’d be more than welcome in Hell.