Maybe thatโs the hardest part about losing someone you loved deeply: you donโt just lose them. You lose the version of yourself that felt safe when they were around.
And sometimes, remembering how gently they once held you hurts more than remembering how they let you go.
At some point, you have to realize when youโre doing too much and starting to look pathetic. Self-respect means knowing when to stop, when to walk away, and when to keep things to yourself. Sometimes the best thing you can do is disappear, regain your dignity, and move forward.
It hurts so much to think about you, and it hurts so much to see you.. but I find myself looking for you, hoping that youโd reach out to me and the fact you intentionally donโt want to talk to me shows me how much I screwed up.. fuck everything else in my life, I really fucked up
You have no idea how much it fucking hurts me deeply inside and breaks my heart every FUCKING day.. not to have you anymore.. ๐ I thought I meant more.. and I will never forgive myself for the way I treated you.. Iโm so sorry for hurting you.. I fucking donโt know how to go on..
Incase you were wondering, Iโve got shit under control.. Iโve managed to keep going despite everything Iโm going through, even though Iโve gotten my self a major setback Iโm still fucking here, working, grinding, and keeping my head above water.