mystery white boy

can’t find the delete account button so i must continue to tweet

[Girth Brooks @crackawdajuice]

Farted so hard my check engine light turned on

[💜Dani🖤 🇵🇸 @Danidoesmagic]

Hey sorry my pitbull puppygirl gf mauled your age regressor gf, she's not normally like that

[mystery white boy @wtwbrody]

my ex smelled good asf and i still smell her sometimes even when i know she’s not there, im sure that’s super healthy and awesome

[mystery white boy @wtwbrody]

if you’re a tweaker and ur gas station sells 7oh just take enough for them to call an ambulance as many times as it takes until they pull it from the shelves

[Mr. Honeydew @bestbuddy1998]

Wearing a condom to try on jeans at The Gap

[@shartgroblin @shartgroblin]

dropped a case of diet coke in walmart i just walked out didn't look back don't care anymore

[GREGY @Gregy_Online]

if you have a gun people will just let you rob them

[Lark @king_of_limb]

had a few too many meads and wrapped my noble steed around a telephone pole

[mystery white boy @wtwbrody]

lost my kung fu panda 2 dvd in the polycule divorce i haven’t been the same man since

[mystery white boy @wtwbrody]

one of the Teletubbies visited me in a dream to confirm his suspected pansexuality but swore me to secrecy

[Christopher Moltisanti Weighs In On Current Events @MoltisantiThots]

We gotta play Bosnia AND Herzegovina. It's two against one. It ain't really fair, T.

[mystery white boy @wtwbrody]

will the gays accept me for who i am

[mystery white boy @wtwbrody]

i smell like turmeric and my cat is gay

[mystery white boy @wtwbrody]

they say comedy comes in threes but the first two times i shit myself were pretty good as well

[playful peter @w0rldmap]

They finally got him. No coming back from this

[Global UPDATES @GlobalUpdates24]

BREAKING –

US becomes the first country in the world to host a team at the FIFA World Cup and bоmb that team's country on the same day