will wood quotes

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[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

And they are roughly as follows: It's not real, it's all in your head, get a fucking job, fucking pull yourself up by your bootstraps you lazy fucking entitled goddamn millennial it's those pesky phones I swear, fuck! And get- ah, you need to get out of my house!

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

Howdy. I've decided to stop being shy about the old copout video and just accept it for what it is - a DIY, zero-budget video made by a bunch of friends while we were drunk in college five years ago.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

And I liked the name Millie, and I was like, "That's my daughter. I like Eleven. She's my daughter now. I'm adopting her."

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

I tried going to school, I tried dropping out of school, I tried a different school, tried dropping out of that one, tried a different one. I tried tolerating people who won't shut up in the audience... testament to my patience, everyone! Thank you!

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

- You got this, BFF!
... I love that.

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I apologize for my meltdown earlier! There's a fair amount of, uh... stressors right now. And they take different shapes and they have different names and different faces.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

You can find it under Will Wood and the Tapeworms on Spotify. But why would I advertise you where you can find it when you haven't heard it yet? I'm- you're not gonna go looking it up when you know nothing about it.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

I'm not on top of my, uh, stage presence game either. Um... one because I haven't been on stage in a very long time and two because I'm making no effort, um, and three because I'm not on a stage and four because, uh...
- We didn't pay.
There we go.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

And I'm like fuck! That's a tall order, man! 'Cause borderline personality disorder looks pretty bad! Um... it's not- it's not cute. Uh, trust me... I have it. And now it's too late. I've been open about it. So... you're welcome.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

I wanted to journey to the heart of American normality. As some fucking.. idiot. And, um... and, uh, so naturally, I went to Atlantic City.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

How high can you bounce when you hit rock bottom?

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

I really just destroyed this poor man's face. You look... insane.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

Yeah, I'll just take a nap real quick?

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It's a result of, uh... yeah, it's a result of some troubles. It's a result of, uh, some confusion and some pain, but, y'know, all art is, I think.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

There are things you can do with a strummed instrument that you can't do with a piano, and there's something about acoustic guitar that feels so grounded. But I can't really handle guitar very well, so I decided to try something smaller and with fewer strings.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

My biggest achievement was the- the daughter thing because a lot of people still think I have a daughter.
- But you don't?
I do not have a daughter. And this is the end of that.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

The idea of thinking you've found the motherlode of cheese and it turning out to be poison – shooting for a moon made of cheese and not "making it" back or something – I don't know, seems like the right opening track for setting the tone.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

She said, "Listen, this is Olanzapine. Just call me if you grow tits and die in your sleep." And, uh... um... and then I was like, "Fuck... no." And I didn't take it.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

If anybody wants to sit, you're more than welcome to sit! That would definitely, uh... but also, it's like wet and like gross.

[will wood quotes @wwoodquote]

How do I put this in a way that sounds... like real life... um. Sorry, I'm drawing a blank right now.