Elijah

@ me for a follow back

[Elijah @xElijahF]

So proud of my wife <3

[goma @soigomaa]

Free my man

[Timothy Johnson @MiamiCanes1971]

The British being unprepared to perform on American soil has been a tradition since 1776

[the bull @BullOnStandby]

Murder is in his blood

[Morpheus @Morpheus156]

I have a friend from DR who told me ppl legit hate this guy in that country just bcus of this video and the damage it did to their pr lmfao

[Morpheus @Morpheus156]

@dickweedjackson I’d be hot too if every time I told someone I was a Dominican, their first response was “I no black papi! I Dominican! How ju know I Dominican papi” 🤣

[Maxvayshia™ @maxvayshia]

These videos may be common and splattered all over the internet but the fundamental question keen minds always ask is:

[Sheriff Lobo @tahoe7teen]

“People with REAL money never flaunt their wealth, only ghetto people do that” - Random broke people on Twitter

Meanwhile…

[Never break kayfabe @Quadripolar_B]

My nigga did WHAT???

[𐌕 @fwtimini]

iPhone: I'm gonna update your software tonight while you sleep.

iPhone in the morning: I couldn't do it, bro. Just didn't feel right. The vibe was off.

[Donny Luche @DonnyLuche]

We've come so far

[𝟐𝟑 @KlutchBron23]

Shai next season after learning that ur hair can u get u free throws

[Elijah @xElijahF]

Brunson gave the spurs every opportunity to win just for Wemby to choke it away

[Elijah @xElijahF]

Brunson got one of these on the bottom of his feet

[Kenpachi @Kenpachi1070]

Depuis la traduction automatique, je me rends compte qu’on a vraiment tous la même vie mdrr

[Sassington, M.C. @MissSassbox]

things Carter Bryant has been compared to on this app so far:

- a "medium rare sugar cookie"
- Ducky from the Land Before Time
- the "human embodiment of a dumpling"
- Biggie Littles from NBA Street
- 'Lamb Chops' with cornrows
- a "6 year old who made a wish to get "bigged like Tom Hanks in the movie, Big"
- an unreleased Muppet that will be the cousin of Abby Kadabby
- the bottom of a stingray

[Terry Moran 🇺🇸 @TerryMoran]

We’re all supposed to pretend this isn’t happening a lot?

How does this make us look to the rest of the world?

[Dawn @_dawnmontgomery]

Pastor didn’t meet his $40k offering goal lmaooo

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Things most Americans agree on:

Groceries cost too much.

Tariffs suck and make no sense.

Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks.

The debt is a mess.

The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.

Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.

Americans are exhausted.

AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you.

Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.

Canadians are super fucking cool.

Mexicans are chill.

Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.

Good neighbors are a blessing.

Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.

We all question, are we alone in the universe?

We all fuck up along the way.

Epstein didn’t hang himself.

The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.

The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!

Things we’re told to fight about:

Me.
Laptop.
Vaccines.
Transgenders in sports.
Pronouns.

That’s the joke.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

So let me get this straight.

Jake Tapper is focused on attacking my Mom.

Jared and Ivanka are building a private island paradise on Albanian protected land.

Don Jr married the daughter of Epstein’s banker, and a startup his fund backs just got a record $620M Pentagon loan.

Eric is taking an Israeli drone company public for $1.5B in the middle of a war with Iran that nobody wanted.

And I know: “But what about your paintings, Hunter?”

Please.

[NEXTA @nexta_tv]

A Chinese robot wearing a clown wig kicked a child in the stomach.