Bullshit aside.
From the monthly 7-day break to now having not streamed in over 30 days.
Inside i feel like a dick making this post, because i get to do what so many people in this world consider their dream and they are probably thinking “stop crying bitch”.
And they are partly right because i do feel like my tank is smaller than other’s and that i need more breaks.
But wanting to stream every day, skinbid, drillas, private stuff, and china coming up while my passport surprisingly had expired (aka no visa) made me lose it.
I am disappointed in myself for behaving this way when i lose control to just “leave everythin”. When a simple head’s up “gonna be gone for a bit” would probably work wonders. Problem is, i always told myself “just 1 more day, tomorrow we’re back” while more and more stuff piles up, business relations becoming more and dissatisfied and a community that i built up for 5 years becoming more and more disappointed. Stress and fear keeps stacking and all the sudden we’re at day 40.
I am doing this post mostly for myself, to get my feelings off my chest and because i feel like i owe you guys an explanation.
One thing i want to make clear, i still fucking love streaming as if it was day 1 and i am grateful that you guys allow me to do that.
This break wasn’t me trying to get away from streaming, it was me trying to get away from all the other stuff that seemed unmanageable.
I am working on the shit that i piled up right now, so i will be back soon.
I feel cringe deluxe opening up like this, but hey fuck it, will try to make sure it’s the last time.
Love to everyone who understands, and everyone who reached out.
And ofc i will be in china. 🙏
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