.

twitter is therapy✌🏼
you reap what you sow 🌱

[. @x______06]

Had to double check who said this, Piers Morgan life stories lives on😆

[Jme @JmeBBK]

"Harbouring anger and bitterness, is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" Peter Andre

[David Rattigan @davidmrattigan]

buying this and then dying immediately and forcing my descendants to finish building it over the next 100 years

[Lyn🦋 @_ayandamay]

Can Apple use common sense, if my phone is on silent but I set an alarm, WHY DO YOU THINK I WOULD WANT AN ALAAAAAAARM TO BE SILENT.?

[𝕾𝖎𝖗 𝕮𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘 @eagleseyeinc]

don’t forget that a compass was invented before the clock because direction is more important than time.

[` @ick_real]

actually you know what
why the FUCK havent we made blenders quieter, we found a way to silence guns, SURELY someone can silence a blender
please
theyre so fucking loud

[enter shakira𓅮 @BARFJAMiN]

firmly believe you should be allowed to do a few victimless crimes a year if they’re funny enough

[Lin 🇫🇮 @Lfromthenorth]

Male officer: "He says he's been stabbed."

Female officer: "We have to check, don't we?"

Male officer: "No."

I worked in emergency care for years... YOU ALWAYS CHECK, even if you think the patient is unreliable.

The guy is on the ground and clearly in respiratory distress, telling you he's been stabbed. What the fuck is wrong with you to automatically assume he's lying?

That's gross disregard for human life and as far as I'm concerned as a non-law person; it's criminal negilence. 💀

[The Hit Man @TheHitMan1776]

@lorahmoe The woman behind the counter was married to your fiancé for eight years.
That’s why she recognized the ring.
They have a child together.
Mr. Fiancé didn’t tell you about any of this.

[Nancy Wright @Wrightie7]

Got to be the most iconic photo of the day…

[✨ @JessLH96]

A family were showing off their baby and when it went for a nap everyone started chanting ‘we want our baby back’ 😂😭

[Met (C) 🏆 @AFCMet]

This image doesn’t even seem real. It seems like something from the 60s. Absolutely incredible.

[soup🍓 @thrluv]

the problem is we were taught to fear the witches & not the men who burned them

[Interesting things @awkwardgoogle]

I thought it was a person in a bird costume

[Sai Ishaya @Sai_Ishaya_]

London is not tiny, it's one of the biggest cities in the world.
It's the largest city in Western Europe & is geographically 14x the size of Paris.
Each of the subregions can be standalone cities on their own.
-South London is Physically larger than Madrid, Chicago or Toronto.
-East London is bigger than Munich & Dublin combined.
-West London is nearly triple the size of Paris.
-North London is bigger than Amsterdam and Copenhagen combined.

[Ronke Lawal @ronkelawal]

The kind of innovation that the UK should be embracing nationwide.
This is a wonderful initiative.

[Hagov Berlin 🇦🇷🇩🇪 @hagov_berlin]

Totalmente enamorado de esta propuesta de bandera planetaria. Un circulo azul para representar nuestro planeta, y el resto transparente para que el fondo sea parte de la bandera

[JoeLongBalls @JoeLongBalls]

sucks ass, should be a skull with knives behind it so the aliens know what the fuck is up

[holly @hollythfc]

no tampons or pads but crisps and chocoalte. #ok

[Drug Dealer Chic @SonOfThaKulture]

Real flight catchers know you wear the same outfit to the destination on the way back home

[The Textman 🇳🇬 @MarchVeryOwn4]

Participating just to cook juicers for an easy bag is genius