Abusers donโt co-parent, they counter-parent. Even worse, they will try to destroy the thing that is most precious to you โ the bond with your child.
My ex-husband has used a range of methods to sabotage my relationship with our 8-year-old child, including:
โข Making negative remarks about me to our child. โMum is weak because she left me instead of fixing things,โ โMum cares about herself more than she cares about you.โ
โข Promising him a new family and preying on our childโs wish to have siblings. โI will get you a new mum and a new family with brothers and sisters.โ
โข Involving him in adult issues and making him feel responsible to fix things. โIt is not fair that Mum has you more than me, tell her that you want equal time with both of us.โ
โข Creating coalitions. โMe and you know you should be homeschooled, but Mum wonโt allow you.โ
โข Buying his affections with luxurious holidays, new kittens or puppies, huge gifts and showing him the enticements over video chats while he is with me.
โข Undermining my parenting in front of our child, doing the opposite to my rules and boundaries, paying money to our child to go against my parenting decisions.
โข Emotionally blackmailing me by saying that if I donโt agree to what he wants, he will tell our child negative things about me.
โข Makes threats of huge negative consequences for me if I donโt consent to his unreasonable parenting demands.
โข Asks our child to keep secrets from me.
โข Expresses disapproval and upset if our child speaks positively about me.
โข Alters our childโs memories of me and implants false memories.
These strategies form part of the abuserโs coercive control of their partner or former partner. They will readily abuse their own child in order to exert power, dominance, and revenge over a partner that leaves them. #coercivecontrol #postseparationabuse
Manipulative people are cunning. They learn your weaknesses, your dreams, and your fears. They build a facade of support and love. They make you feel safe, cherished, and valued. But eventually, the mask slips. They start to use your vulnerabilities against you. They manipulate your emotions, erode your confidence, and make you doubt your own worth. They thrive on your pain, feeding off your insecurities. They are out there, disguised as friends or lovers, but their true intention is to break you down. Beware of those who use your trust as a weapon. โ ๏ธ
#manipulation #emotionalabuse