David George

Humor, Parody, Satire. Nothing serious. Please NO DM.

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

I helped my neighbor out with something this morning and she said to me, “I could marry you”…

I couldn’t believe it..

You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

Interesting
https://t.co/30guuPmmWY

[Fundamental Investor ™ 🇮🇳 @FI_InvestIndia]

A businessman once bought a massive diamond in South Africa, about the size of an egg yolk.

But to his disappointment, the stone had a crack inside.

He took it to a skilled jeweler, hoping for advice.

The jeweler examined it carefully and said:

“This diamond can be split into two perfect gems, each worth more than the original stone. But one wrong strike and it will shatter into worthless fragments. I won’t take that risk.”

The businessman traveled the world, showing the diamond to jewelers in many countries.

Each one gave the same answer: "Too risky".

Finally, someone told him about an old master jeweler in Amsterdam known for his golden hands.

He flew there the same day.
The old jeweler studied the diamond through his monocle and warned him again of the risk.
The businessman interrupted:

“I’ve heard that story before. I’m ready. Just do it.”

The jeweler nodded, agreed on the price, then turned to a young apprentice working quietly nearby.

The boy took the diamond, placed it on his palm, and struck it once, clean and precise.

The stone split beautifully into two flawless gems.

Without even looking up, he handed them back to the master.

Astonished, the businessman asked:

“How long has he been working for you?”

The old jeweler smiled.

“This is his third day. He doesn’t know the real value of the stone, that’s why his hand didn’t tremble.”

Sometimes the more we fear losing something, the less capable we become of doing what needs to be done.

Treat life’s challenges as if they are lighter than they seem, and your hand will stay steady.

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

This is interesting

https://t.co/qhMqMPb1dY

[Vince Langman @LangmanVince]

This is hilarious 😂

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

what is the time

[The Best @TheBestqueenx]

😂😂

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

https://t.co/RTJJzDjy9w

[The Disrespected Trucker @DisrespectedThe]

If you want a good laugh, listen to this one all the way through. 😂😂😂

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

https://t.co/i3vpOIY63G

[Road To Success @_RoadToSuccess_]

What did you learn from this story❓

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

Asked my Grandma, what is good for Headaches.
She said, "staying away from the girl who gave it to you"

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

https://t.co/O3O7ph9s5a

[Manly Mentor @manly_mentor]

This Exercise Has Made Countless Millionaires 💰🔥

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

https://t.co/ENEfnB5G8i

[Michelle Maxwell ™ @MichelleMaxwell]

Reagan was a master of opening people’s eyes to reality.

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

How to make money?
https://t.co/DjzPYP6YZ7

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

H/t@smitterta

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

The Husband store
https://t.co/x5hmSJvdXe

[Don Keith @RealDonKeith]

The Husband Store. I love this joke!🤣

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

3 Great Questions
1. What would you suggest?
2. What would it take for you to agree?
3. Can you live with it?

https://t.co/jjohqAiCiF

[The Sigma Mindset @thesigmamindset]

This is how you can dominate any conversation & build dominance ‼️‼️

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

Challenge you to control your laugh
https://t.co/S2NL90n4Tb

[Learn Something @cooltechtipz]

I can't stop laughing 😅

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

Deep Thoughts
Saints have history.
Sinners have future.

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

Marriage is a beautiful forest where Brave Lions are killed by Beautiful Deers.

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad and uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

https://t.co/mwwXfYyVjn

[Wesley Hunt @WesleyHuntTX]

There are two competing philosophies on taxation in America, and they couldn’t be more different.

One side believes you should keep more of your hard-earned money. They champion entrepreneurship, reward hard work, and prioritize your ability to save for the future.

The other side?…

Well, they insist that no matter how much you’ve paid, it’s never enough.

They call this “paying your fair share,” but it’s really wealth redistribution—economic Marxism disguised as policy.

And it’s ripping apart the middle class while undermining free markets.

[David George @xdavidgeorge]

@RagingMutton