X: She'll be a victim of some more circumstances when I get my hands on her. And don't bother keeping an eye on her anymore. I've got Gabrielle on that.
J: Oh, you think she can do a better job than I can.
X: This is not a competition.
D: Philemon, we have to trust Xena now. She's our only hope.
X: Gabrielle, I want you to find Meg and keep her in one place. I'll do the rest.
G: Right.
G: Now, wait a minute. Okay, I believe you when you say that there's another look-alike here. That would explain everything. But how do I know that you're the real Xena?
J: Yeah, how do we know you're the real Xena?
G: Hello, Xena. Boy, am I glad to see you.
M: What's the gripe, Aggie? I've done everything just like you said.
A: And more. Try staying away from that clown, Joxer.
M: I think he's cute.
A: You better not mess this up.
M: Look who's talking.
A: What does that mean?
J: Um, what is the plan?
M: I'll tell you out here.
J: Oh, good.
G: You're gonna tell Joxer, but you're not gonna tell me?
M: Xena's orders. She's very fond of him, you know?
J: She was struck by Cupid's arrow. It's love, Gabrielle. But, don't worry, I'm prepared to do the honourable thing.
G: Leave?
J: No. Marry her. We could all travel around together. Xena and I could be like a father and mother to you.
G: Guards!
J: Oh, great! I assaulted royalty. I'm in big trouble. But on the bright side, Xena still has a thing for me.
G: Hmm, impossible! No offense, Joxer, but you're just not her type.
m: Hey, Aggie, I thought you said she wasn't gonna make it to the party.
A: Obviously, something went wrong.
M: Well, you'd better be careful. She looks tough. How'd you like the tears?
A: Nice touch.
X: Have you seen a young woman, carrying a staff, about this high?
"She left yesterday. But there's no reason why you should be lonely, when there's healthy young men like us around. Give us a kiss."
A: There she is!
X: Give me something strong.