🌸秘密🌸

The one line wonder!

More crap that you don't care about than you could shake a stick at.

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

One of these days, Smarty is going to tell Elmo to look it up for his damned self.

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

Why is my toddler crying today? Because when she demanded my chocolate, I prompted her to say "please."

[Max =✡︎= 𓂆 🍁⚣🤍 @lilbuddymax]

The UN passed resolution 138 condemning Israel for capturing Adolf Eichmann, orchestrator of the Final Solution, in 1960. Now the UN condemned Israel for killing Saleh Al-Arouri, leader of the Hamas Al-Qassam brigade…
The same UN that had Iran as chair for the human rights forum

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

Today it is apparently racist to point out that India is not, in fact, on the Mediterranean.

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

The true sign of the times is that when shopping for a new toilet paper holder, I found the standard models all come with a phone shelf.

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

https://t.co/KxAxnOJw2M

In case you didn't know this existed

RIP Mr Kissinger.

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

@IPSY I have to update my credit card but your site won't let me bc the system has the same address in 15 times in billing info and I can't add another address. Still can't talk to a person. Is this how my BoxyCharm subscription ends? Please help me fix this.

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

Gosh, almost as if Britain has a history of terrible relations with other countries. 🤔 Completely clueless when they're being the most racist. Shock.

https://t.co/P7qBXWwKSf

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

#stupidadspoiler

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

Amazon Shopper: The ground beef you wanted is out of stock. Instead of offering a different ground beef as a replacement, how about I give you a chuck roast?

Me: DECLINE. Guess I'm looking for veggie dinner recipes tonight.

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

Are there really people stockpiling Children's Tylenol and who the fuck are they because my sick kids just need one goddamn generic bottle ffs

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

How much do you have to lie to be known as "the lying congressman"? Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) takes on George Santos

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

While holding a six month old, it is impossible to eat lasagna without it falling on your shirt.

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

Skype: Sorry, we can't tell that you own this account that was hacked, so you can't recover it, ever.

Also Skype: We're going to email you fucking daily that your hacker didn't update his subscription on some Chinese site. Fucking daily, labeled ACTION REQUIRED.

🙄 #stupid

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

"Here's our favorite Hanukkah recipes!" seems to mean "these are all the Jewish recipes we could scrounge up!"

In addition, one of them is generic fry batter, the image for which shows assorted seafoods that are definitely not kosher.

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

Every damn year, all the people and the shit that says "holiday" really just means "Christmas." So just fucking say it's Christmas and that you really have no idea there are other holidays in December. I'm tired of the virtue signaling by ignorant shlubs. #fuckxmas #notmyholiday

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

My Skype account was hacked and stolen, and the support at @microsoft could not be less helpful in recovery. Apparently the person deleted all my info so Microsoft thinks it's not my account even though I'm getting emails about purchases. WTF do I need to do here??

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

The time-honored tradition of wiping your face on your mom's shirt.

[🌸秘密🌸 @xenylamine]

TikTok video with someone using Boolean operators to adjust Google results for job searches. Why are people crazed over this? You should have been doing this all along. Genuinely wondering what they're teaching in schools these days (at the risk of sounding like Professor Kirke).