Sarah Rose 🌹🥀

[Sarah Rose 🌹🥀 @xfilesfan101]

I am somehow freezing cold, and burning up
I hate this time of year 😭

[Joe @JoePostingg]

It's crazy that you can drink unlimited amounts of diet soda with literally zero negative health consequences

[Sarah Rose 🌹🥀 @xfilesfan101]

Is there anything better than being drunk in a woman’s bathroom and getting complimented? Like why are these ladies being so nice to me? I could just cry 😭

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

yooo I can’t believe the guy who shot me in Reno is doing a live concert here at Folsom prison! I can’t wait to hear the complicated and tragic explanation as to why he sent me into a near-death comatose state. I think once I know I’ll be ready to forgive not only him, but myself

[Foreskin and Seven Inches Ago @redrummarts]

White people be like: "Rick and Morty season 9 has been a real return to form for the series"

[jawn didion @tinndfishmonger]

I tried Coke Zero at lunch instead of Diet Coke. All of the aspartame without any of the refreshment, the glamour, the joie de vivre, the satisfaction of cracking open a cold, glistening can of DC. Insidious beverage.

[ѕєиɪ @zalatwicc]

i said it's my favorite movie i didn't say it was good

[nihilism disrespecter @meaning_enjoyer]

poly works if you do it the french way but not if you do it the california way

[Sarah Rose 🌹🥀 @xfilesfan101]

Not being able to wear eye makeup after eye surgery has been awful!
I feel so ugly and naked without it, especially since I’m overweight
Ugh I don’t know anyone could find me attractive at this point 🙃🙃🙃

[alex 🧚🏽‍♀️💅🏽✨️ @fatzoekravitz]

I've had a crush on nearly all principle jackass cast members. the other day I was like "why wee man kinda..."

[zoë rose bryant @zoerosebryant]

let johnny knoxville make a saw movie

[ﾟ✧ﾟ mothemi ﾟ✧ﾟ @kvwviiju]

isn’t it funny that you couldn’t make jackass work if women were in it because then it just becomes someone’s fetish porn. actually no im realising in real time as i type this that the things they do to johnny knoxville are fetish porn to me too. never mind. never mind

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

“girls w no female friends are a red flag” no a lot of us just had weird moms okay like sorry the first lady i ever met hated my guts for some reason and it resulted in me being an off-putting brunch companion forgive me

[CONSEQUENCE @consequence]

Less than 24 hours after The Late Show ended, Colbert resurfaced on Michigan public access program, where he reported the local news and was joined by surprise guests including Jack White, Steve Buscemi, Jeff Daniels, and Eminem.

"It's been an excruciating 23 hours without being on TV. So I am grateful to be able to be here on Monroe Community Media before they also get acquired by Paramount."

[jean’s glucose monitor @mirrenelle]

very real because sometimes you do just randomly have to hold your titty

[latke @latkedelrey]

steve carell looking sexy as fuck here wow

[nathan @nathanrobii]

i think a solution to the historical accuracy problem for the odyssey would be to set it in the 1930s in the south and change their outfits to something like prison uniforms, and maybe cast someone like george clooney instead of matt damon

[Fightful Wrestling @Fightful]

Danhausen did the “at Backlash” meme.

😂

[charles @GillanEnjoyer]

i would rather rock be dead than greta van fleet exist