𝐱

[Chase @notchaselyons]

My dentist said I grind in my sleep damn he’s real for that 💯

[mau @rllydu]

things in my circus:
- my monkeys
- a tamed lion that does not concern himself
- an elephant in the room
- 1 clown (me)

[z. @robpatt___]

male postpartum depression is when men get depressed because they aren’t the only baby in the house anymore

[chase @funnysmartguy12]

it’s healthy and good for you to wake up at 2pm and play video games for 12 hours straight

[‏ؘ @helllojojo]

i remember when i first watched this expecting it was gonna be a cute romcom but instead my world was turned upside down and my lungs were collapsing

[eliza @elizamclamb]

Being 23 and spending even 5 seconds around high school seniors makes you be like ok so every man was absolutely lying about 18 year olds “looking mature” . Like those are clearly children actually but

[Hadas Weiss @weiss_hadas]

when i'm asked about basic concepts in my area of expertise

[cameron burger @slameronburger]

texting at work texting when I’m off

[water girl @MERMAYYDE]

people perceive a father’s love as something you earn, but a mother’s love is something that is owed

[Cyndaquilism @Cyndaquilism]

this

[adam @adoomie03]

Nice high beams bro do you wanna see an unregistered firearm

[˖ ꜝ❤︎ kimi 𑣲 ⏦ﾟ @piinkimi_]

me rolling in bed after doing nothing all day