a.ped ♡

single momma to an awesome little dude👩‍👦 Italian 🇮🇹 love all things spooky and haunted 👻 I’m awkward and weird, but it’s adorable

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

@BobbyJaniec *ahemmm* come to MD 😂😝

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

@UberFacts also, the jersey shore. But like ORIGINAL jersey shore. like “raaahnn staaaahhppp yer trahmahtizin mehhhh” jersey shore.

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

@UberFacts My will to live 😂

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

@MissSmartyJones That’s because men are used to exaggerating when it comes to 8” 😂

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

So no one is going to mention how Elias put a severed foot on the shelf on the finale of #Superstore ? Like does this mean he’s the severed foot dude? @NBCSuperstore #SuperstoreFinale #Cloud9

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

Not me at @TheCrystalFox 😂😂😂 😂😂😂🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ #buymorecrystals

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

Listening to hot 99.5 this morning crying my eyes out. NBD.
my heart goes out to Sam & Soph ❤️❤️ #hot995 #Kaneshow #RIPKane

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

@TheRealDrMiami I will do questionable things for that offer 😂😂😂 fr though...

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

Things I didn’t think I’d have to say at work, but here I am, saying them more than once 🤦🏼‍♀️ pt 3

“If you are not sure that you are a bug but feel you need medical attention... you are more than welcome to contact your GP, or the ER is open 24/7”

#thingssaidintheER 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

Things I didn’t think I’d have to say at work, but here I am, saying them more than once 🤦🏼‍♀️ pt 2

“If you have to pass gas while in the ER being treated.... you can just do it. No, you don’t have to inform anyone.”

#thingssaidintheER 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

Things I didn’t think I’d have to say at work, but here I am, saying them more than once 🤦🏼‍♀️

“If you think you need an ambulance, you’ll need to call 911.”
(Follow up) — “yes I’m sure that’s the number”

#thingssaidintheER 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

I keep telling myself I’ll tweet more and look at me. Failing.

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

No lie, I wanna be best friends with @MileyCyrus I feel she’s just the realest, down to earth, just vibin through life kinda friend. Who blazes and gets inked regularly. Like hi me too let’s be friends 🤙🏼❤️

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

Maintenance guy at work: this door gets a little emotional if you get too close when it’s trying to open up

Me: same, tbh.

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

@mikethemiz and @MaryseMizanin being exhausted parents but crushing in beer pong is a WHOLE MOOD.
#relationshipgoals 😂😂
I’m already an exhausted mom with kick ass pong skills. Just need my second half 😂😂😂😂 #MizAndMrs

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

Two greats coming together in absolute awesomeness @mikethemiz @JimmysSeafood

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

#EhlersDanlos #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #ChronicPain #flareup #eds

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

Ehlers-Danlos flare up = eucalyptus epsom salt bubble bath time 💕

[a.ped ♡ @xo_mandabear]

@OffSeids I’m sorry. Did you say... peanut butter coffee?!? That sounds so fantastical 🤤🤤🤤😍😍😍😍