Noah

“I was raised to treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO.”

[Lonnie @p0ptartkitty]

why do hospital gowns have the ass out

[Reed “The Pecker” Thompson @Reedflexalot]

Said “lowkey” in my interview

[Miilato @litteralyme0]

how it feels being dead serious but nobody believes you because you troll too much

[Angie exists now @Angieexistsnow1]

white people when your fridge doesn't dispense water

[stfumusty @zmustyyy]

“When a kid grows up, a pencil is replaced by a pen,
Just to make him realize that now it is difficult to erase a mistake.”

[Noah @noahdummett]

For everyone asking:

- yes it's real
- 6 month term
- money well spent to get this mf off the internet

His lawyers are now pressing us hard to have this contract scrapped but we will stay strong

[IRL Loading Screens @IRLoadingScreen]

Former CIA agent and whistleblower John Kiriakou has lost his 2,879-day consecutive gameplay streak on Angry Birds

[D @deeprivac]

this girl fainted infront of me today at the mall and they were saying it was probably cos of her low iron but deep down i know the real reason was cos of how good my trim was

my barber done me so nicely, he said it should be illegal for how sharp it is.

[Doc Strangelove @DocStrangelove2]

He probably would have kept doing it too if it weren't for that person who decided to be a complete creep to him and his family in public for no reason.

[richard @richard_normal]

you hear stories about how people win the lottery and it ruins their life, destroys their relationships, and ends up leaving them destitute. i want it known that would not happen to me. if i won the lottery id be very happy. it would easily work out well for me.

[daparty250 @daparty250]

mom bro i’d die for u but im not taking out the fucking trash

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

handjobs are lowkey pointless bc no bitch can beat my shit as good as me