Christian Johns

Lover of all things sports, food, and beer related. Pretty big stats geek. @TrumanState alum. Opinions are my own.

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

I struggle to answer “Why am I not spending every day of my life fighting for racial justice?” with anything other than “b/c I am a coward.”

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

@JParnell1 I don’t want to fall in line behind our ButterBall overlords, but I ask in earnest: have you had smoked turkey? Not like deli smoked turkey, I mean at a BBQ place. Did you like it? Just meh, like all other turkey?

[Erika Chappell 🏳️‍⚧️ Professional Simpsonsologist @open_sketchbook]

it’s not guns, it’s fascism. it’s always been fascism. almost every mass shooter is a fascist; their manifestos are fascist, their online communities, all of it. they are almost all hateful white supremacists

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

The plural of Sloppy Joe is Sloppies Joe.

[April Clark @autogynefiles]

You should uproot your entire life and move to my city so we can hang out once a month

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

I think an MLB rule change is in order: the catcher doesn’t have to be in the box before the pitch, they can roam/stand anywhere in fair territory. BUT, if they do so they have to wear gloves on both hands. Could be huge. @jon_bois thoughts?

[Oded Rechavi @OdedRechavi]

How your email finds me

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

“You shouldn’t have read my tweets” is the new “you should have killed me first”.

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

More propaganda from “Big Justin” to try to distract everyone from Yahenni and “whichever mono-black commander Justin is piloting”.

Don’t fall for it.

[Justin Parnell @JParnell1]

Top 5 Most Powerful Black Commanders

5- K'rrik, Son of Yawgmoth
4- Chainer, Dementia Master
3- Mikaeus, the Unhallowed
2- Syr Konrad, the Grim
1- Tergrid, God of Fright
#JPTop5

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

More like “tiny bones are gonna be all that’s left when he’s done stacking triggers.”

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

@phiggins it’s our office hours.

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

@NotMyLinkedIn “Look, I messed up. I’m going to fix it. I have to do this myself.” <opens fast-food bag 1/7>
<telling me about the new WW subscription> “NO MORE SLIPPIN’ JIMMY”

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

@NotMyLinkedIn Often consider you a Jimmy (have only watched to Season 3) but instead of legal grifter you convince people, and yourself, to eat things.

“Who’s it gonna hurt, Chuck?” (my name isn’t Chuck)
<breaks auto cupholder to fit extra large drink> “What?”

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

This continues to be, even among incredibly talented, experienced leaders in my industry (and my mentors, too) one of the worst takes (IMO) in software development.

I have no idea how to change people’s minds about it.

[Allen Holub. https://linkedIn.com/in/allenholub @allenholub]

Coverage is a side effect—an output—of good testing, not a goal. You do not set out to get a particular coverage number. Instead, you test as needed to get to a desired level of confidence in the code. Coverage will take care of itself.

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

Hey remember when we went to that haberdashery? @NotMyLinkedIn

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

@pfrazee @mafintosh @keet_io @andrewosh Who needs peers when you have… yourself?

[Jaana Dogan ヤナ ドガン @rakyll]

I wished management had a good understanding how costly it is to build something wrong in comparison to not building anything.

[Christian Johns @xtianjohns]

@themaxburns How dare you hold the president accountable to <checks notes> his campaign promises.

[amanda moore 🐢 @noturtlesoup17]

My point isn’t that my dad is too pilled. It’s that sometimes adult children are still children to our parents. We are not capable of being an authority on anything to them.

It is frustrating when people tell us to change their minds, when we KNOW our parents won’t listen to US.