Dave Edwards (parody)

Person.

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@elwisty01 @carolinepennock A private bank could in theory stop providing services to any right- (or left-)leaning individual. But that would just open the market for a bank that does the opposite. Farage can still obtain banking services elsewhere so is this really worth all the hand-wringing?

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@elwisty01 @carolinepennock Look up "slippery slope fallacy". You are extrapolating from one example that this will become a common occurrence, whereas in fact it's one private bank declining to provide services to one person, as is their right (discrimination law notwithstanding but apparently N/A here).

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@ManUtd @LukeShaw23 Happy birthday to us 😁🎉

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@marcolonghi4dn Narrator: He didn't care.

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@Conservatives I remembered my ID. Forgot to vote Conservative though, sorry*.

* (not sorry)

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

The alarm I set to remind me about the #emergencyalert was louder than the actual thing...

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

And a shoutout to @lamaisondusteak for delicious pre-gig sustenance...

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

Brilliant night at @CambJunction watching my favourite band @turinbrakes with my favourite person @thesofiedwards.

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

For anyone with broken @HiveHomeUK app, if you connect Google Assistant to your Hive account you can then use Google Home to control your devices. Not ideal but works as a stopgap.

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@adavfc1874 @HiveHomeUK If you link Google Assistant to your Hive account, you can use Google Home to control your devices. This is still working even though the Hive app is broken.

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@Fiq8N I mean, how _dare_ the poors want an ounce of joy in their lives?

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@EssexWomble @BBCPolitics My mum phoned her GP after waking with blurred double vision. Pharmacy called back, dx labyrinthitis. She'd had a stroke. Very lucky for all concerned that the outcome wasn't worse.

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

Poor decision @netflix. It's becoming almost impossible to invest time and energy in series on this platform given how likely they are to be cancelled prematurely.

[1899 🜃 @1899Netflix]

I honestly don’t know what to say…1899 got cancelled 💔

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@doeringer55 @NickiFarnes @simonharris_mbd Because it _can_ be a good thing. You've just been programmed to believe otherwise. Get to know some autistic people and look at their strengths, not their weaknesses.

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@mightyredbear79 @JuliaHB1 She _is_ a role model. For shitty people. It's her thing, and she will continue to behave that way as long as it gets her attention. She'll be loving the attention she's getting for this one.

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@JuliaHB1 You used it in the middle of a list of slurs, and you clearly intended it as one. I hope that life kicks you repeatedly in the proverbial balls for this.

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

The @DHLParcelUK customer service is criminally bad. *Do not* use this company unless you enjoy being frustrated. Even their chatbots don't reply. Their phone robot gets confused if your parcel is lost and there is no option to speak to a human.

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@DHLParcelUK My parents sent two parcels containing Christmas presents for our kids as part of the same shipment. The first parcel arrived yesterday but the second still shows as in the depot. Can I please speak to someone to find out when the second parcel will be delivered?

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

@RegVarney I don't have a blue tick, so I'm clearly a fake

[Dave Edwards (parody) @xyphic]

Wondering if there's space for any tweets between these adverts. Twitter takeover clearly going swimmingly.