Xyroidian

[ciara @ciaralors]

broskiis... f*ck onlyfans... Lebron James just gave us fap material for the whole week! is he the baddest in the game rn 👀

[\ @backkslashh]

i never realized that blue is for boy and gink is for girl because they both start with the same letter

[Bahlivern @bahlivern]

the viceral hatred a lot of console players have for mods can be explained by the fact that for some reason they think mods = cheating in multiplayer

[turbomander @turbomander]

hey I was just wondering is it still okay for a guy to get his derp on? is it a fuckign crime for a fella to merp out for a second? or is that not allowed anymore

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

Growing up I thought Mexican jumping beans would be a bigger part of life

[jax @brokeurtooth]

silently crying in the back of my uber and the driver turned around and gave me this stick of gum before saying in broken english “u will be okay tomorrow, today u can be sad”

[chloe @chloes_posts]

It used to be really easy to be a mad scientist’s Igor. Now? Eight rounds of interviews just to pull the lever

[Rusty 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @ImSmilingRn]

My teeth were so badly destroyed when I died that they had to identify me from my ID, which was in my wallet

[turbomander @turbomander]

PLEASE do not approach me from above like that again i WILL mistake you for one of my many natural predators and take my defensive stance

[kart @strawbrryk8]

they always say “skip intro” when i watch the simpsons ummmm i wanna see what they got goin on with the couch

[blur @hash_catcher]

@PhiliDips_ She got the free dog that comes with ads

[Goblinsburg @Goblinsburg]

@CultureCrave @BBC The marketing for THE DEATH OF ROBIN HOOD has gone too far

[mackenzie✨️ @meatsweatmcgee]

theyre calling it the most ghost written book of the century

[Justin Whang 🐙 @JustinWhang]

I always assumed this was a character from a final fantasy I didn’t play photoshopped into Starbucks

[Bhangbhangduc @bhangbhangducx]

a mentally disabled aristocrat has lost a pointless war which resulted in a humiliating treaty at Versailles

[Liv @Liv_Agar]

I feel like an important aspect of enshitification is that everything has autoplay now

[av glock🧩( -_•)╦̵̵̿╤─ @futonchill]

you should always smell nice cuz the first hole you penetrate is someone’s nostrils

[Boyfailurecharliekelly @eeternalferret]

people in the replies swearing down no leftists watch sunny when every big sunny twt account is run by a twenty something spanning every letter of the lgbtqia+

[chimera @chimeraxmachina]

This is how you push through universally unpopular legislation. You start with attacks on groups most people don't care about (sex workers), under the guise of something many support (protecting kids). Then you keep increasing the heat until the frog sits in boiling water.

[Cameron 🇺🇸 🗽🦅 @CameronCorduroy]

>renames it to the Department of War
>names himself the Secretary of War
>fights one war
>loses