Bartender Bill

been known to make a stiff drink

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Why doesn’t the Catholic Church have a birthright trip? At least bring me to Italy or something before you molest me

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Mitch McConnell is the closest thing we have to a human turtle

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Investing in a weighted blanket so when I jerk off I get a free arm workout

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

If I was in Harry Potter I would have just shot Voldemort with a gun

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Indica or sativa? Brother how about the beauty and whimsey the world has to offer?

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

every social media platform should have a dislike button next to the like button

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

If you do enough blow you actually get a 72 hour day instead of 24 #biohacking

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Using her septum ring like one of those old door knock thingies

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Bout time for a new addiction

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

If I got my hands on clavicular all he’d be able to do is consent

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

I let Jesus take the wheel and he drove me to the liquor store

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

We’ve heard of shower beer but have you tried shower gun

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Magic the gathering son or rave daughter

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

You look like you and your tweaker friends commit petty theft against each other to the point that it’s somehow devolved into the first successful form of socialism

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

You actually can’t bomb Romania cause the gypsies will strip all the copper wire out of the missiles before they hit rendering them ineffective

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Boys trip to the Middle East is gunna go craaaazy

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Suddenly I can’t have hobbies????

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

“Shouldn’t you be at war” okay well I don’t like war? I do however like bag and feet

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Just told the lady at the liquor store counter to close my tab

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Tired of all these wars, if the president wants to go to war he should have to 1v1 the leader of the other country

[Bartender Bill @yaamomsbox]

Why can I no teat C4 it look so food