Khalifa

CEO | Entrepreneur | !Born in 1964 | Father of 2 | House Husband | 9-5 guy

[Khalifa @YakubK_]

50 Cent: I don’t know what you heard about me
But a bitch can’t get a dollar out of me
No Cadillac, no perms, you can’t see

9 year old me: That I’m a mothafucking P-I-M-P

[. @utdcynical]

The funniest part of City potentially playing Championship football is imagining the complete culture shock.

Haaland asking where the Champions League anthem is and getting “Freed From Desire” through one working speaker at Deepdale.

Cherki turning up expecting a perfectly watered carpet and finding a pitch that looks like it hosted a fucking agricultural show that morning.

Doku discovering that Championship fullbacks don’t “show you outside” they show you the fucking car park.

Anderson asking the analyst about expected possession while Millwall’s manager is drawing “FUCKING WIN IT” on the tactics board.

Foden arriving for a 12:30 away game and watching some bloke behind the goal finish his sixth pint before warm ups.

Maresca trying to explain inverted full backs to a fourth official who’s just told him to stop fucking moaning and get back in his technical area.

[My Deen My Swag 💫 @AM_Saleeeem]

Married people in the house please confirm so we won’t make mistake o…🥱 True/False??🤔

[M @mala_sarkady]

This nigga really asked what I was doing, I told him I was shopping for my trip and was deadass thinking this mf was about to ask how much my cart was 😭

[Movie Addict HQ @yhubee001]

MEN ARE THE ONES WHO LOVE SIMPLY FOR THE SAKE OF LOVING WITH NOTHING TO GAIN AND NOTHING TO ASK FOR IN RETURN

[comfort king @dr0wninjewels]

having a beautiful ex is not for the weak

[fahmeedx @fahmeedx]

druski genuinely saying some real shit here

[razz 🐎SBR @razzydjazzy]

Therapists when you’re self aware

[(fan) Trey @UTDTrey]

Marmoush when he sees Haaland in the championship next season

[COCO @TWOTIMESABITCH]

teach your partner this: “when i’m spiraling, don’t match my energy. be the calm i can borrow until mine comes back”

[Angela💙 @amangieh]

Can I give my Tithe to my neighbor who hasn't paid her children's school fees?

[Z @Zirachukwu]

I don't support cheating. But if you must, do it with someone who has just as much to lose.
Mutually assured destruction keeps everyone on their best behaviour.

[YOM🗣️ @ThaBoyYom]

‘Mutually assured destruction keeps everyone on their best behaviour’

[Vic 永久hours ⭐⭐ @VicNoobody]

Casi 29 años y todavía ninguna canción ha conseguido superarla

[Ooze ✨ @Uzmaniaaa]

The dating pool is full of people trying to be taken care of, not enjoy a person and it’s sad af.

[Wild Vids @Wildvidz_]

As soon as the round started she regretted every time she slapped him

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

Türkiye vs France highlights

[alicenyan @sexcalextric]

como te miran tus compañeros de trabajo +40 cuando no queres cuernear a tu novia

[ttpd girl @alexacz28]

no importa cuánto ames a una persona, tu amor no le va a ganar nunca a su crianza, a los años donde nadie lo escuchó, a los padres que no lo vieron, a la idea mediocre del amor con la que creció y mucho menos a su fachada de autosuficiencia

[miss_bintaa @Timah77727]

"replied to your story"
how about you be in my story?

[Saltzman 👽 @Drealsalt]

Championship rivals loading 😂