1 thing I feel Savarnas truly don't understand is the cost 1st gen learner Bahujans pay.
My father never went to college, spent a lifetime tinkering with chemicals & things. I inherited my social curiosity from him. Now I just have his things. The man, his mind lost to any relateable communication-- broken years ago cuz my 'english aesthetic & ambition' made us drift apart.
The push & pull of transcending generations of backwardness in one lifetime, breaks many of our homes apart. A cost we bear intimately in silence :-(
The best teachers are not the ones who provide you all the answers. They're the ones who get deeply excited by the questions they cannot answer, the ones who teach how to question and doubt the things you learn.
Emotionally immature parents pressure adult children to spend time with them. When they do, they’re rarely present. They’re distracted. Or don’t engage at all. This shows their deep desire for connection and their inability to actually create it.
Growing up in a home where we don't see parents who were emotionally connected, creates "together-isolation"
Adults raised in homes with together-isolation struggle with:
-open communication
-repairing after conflict or fights
-seeing how their behavior impacts a partner
-understanding how to consider their partner's needs
-compromise
-talking to partner's before making decisions that impact their lives
-chronic independence (feels like being 'smothered' when a partner checks in or needs emotional connection)
Together-isolation is confusing because we've learned that relationships don't actually mean emotional connection. And we continue living as a 'single' person within partnership.