I once dated a man who showed up at my front door unannounced.
No text, no call, no heads up of any kind. Just knocked on my door out of nowhere.
Because he had dropped his phone in the toilet and it died and he didn't want me to sit there thinking he was ignoring me. He had no way to reach me so he just got in his car and came to my house so I would know he wasn't ghosting me.
I stood in my doorway looking at this man for a second just taking that in.
He drove to my house. Because his phone died. Because he didn't want me to worry.
I think about that a lot when people try to tell me that effort is complicated or that you can't really know if someone is interested or that mixed signals are just part of dating. No. This man dropped his phone in a toilet and his immediate response was to get in his car and come find me so I wouldn't feel ignored.
That's not complicated. That's not a mixed signal. That's a man who wanted me to know he was thinking about me and found a way to make that happen with zero technology available to him.
If he wanted to he would.
When I say I want a man that can take care of me, I don’t mean financially! I’ve NEVER wanted anybody based off of what they can do for me financially! Only lil’ girls think like that! Take care of my heart, be my peace, love me out loud, caress my mind, nurture my soul... reassure me that WE ALL WE GOT you know...stuff money can’t buy
to tell him what love actually looks like in practice. it's not that complicated when it comes down to it. you just show up. you say i'm here. you don't make it about you.
he showed up. and she remembered that. i really believe that moment mattered.
i'm going to be a grandmother in a few months and part of me feels like it started with that phone call, which is a strange and really nice thing to think about.
My 16-year-old recently got his first girlfriend.
Like any parent, I occasionally check in on what he's doing online.
One night I happened to see his search history.
I was expecting the usual teenage nonsense.
Instead, I found:
“What do girls need on their period?”
“What are the best things to get your girlfriend when she’s on her period?”
I just sat there staring at the screen for a minute.
This kid was doing independent research.
Not because he had an assignment.
Not because anyone told him to.
He just wanted to understand what his girlfriend was going through and figure out how to help.
Meanwhile, when I was younger, some grown men acted like periods were a mysterious event that should never be discussed out loud.
My teenage son was out here conducting field research.
I was honestly proud of him.
Not because he had all the answers, but because his first instinct was to learn.
He could have ignored it.
Instead, he wanted to know how to....,.....
A coworker died yesterday morning😭.
HR knew by 9 :00 AM, but they kept us working all day. They finally told us around 4 :30 PM, then had the nerve to say, "You can head home early if you need to"—knowing we all finish at 5: 00 PM anyway.
This morning, it’s back to "business as usual." Some of my friends are literally sobbing at their desks, but they’re expected to work and be productive. No time to grieve.
It’s a cold reality. Within a week, the company will have his job posted online. Within a month, someone else will be sitting in his chair.
But his family ,his children will still talk about him every day,they will ask where is daddy , His wife will mourn him for ages ,he was the love of her life .
At work, we are just a "resource" that can be replaced in a week. At home, we are the world. Stop giving your best energy to a desk that will forget you, and giving the "leftovers" to the people who never will.