miami mike from detroit

certificated hater

[leath 🏳️‍⚧️⛓️ @texturedprotein]

summer 2001, im 8 years old and Nickelback drops my new favorite song “How You Remind Me”, full album coming soon!

on release day morning, September 11th, they roll a CRT monitor into my class & i get so excited assuming itll be Nickelback’s new album that i pee myself. however,

[mya ⋆˚✿ @sparklingpeach_]

getting a job in customer service while being soft spoken

[austin @aust1_nk]

Currently going through something I’ll probably only open up about in 2032

[Victoria Rose @woahhvickyyy]

IF A girl GET TIPSY AND GAY I KNOW THESE guys DO TOO

[carl 🥦 @NightlifeMingus]

Some sandwiches are so good they’ll have you fantasizing about the second half while you’re eating the first

[𝖓𝖆𝖟 ꒰ঌ ໒꒱ @nazzygirlxx]

what doesn’t kill you makes ur eyes well up on public transport

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

When Pitbull dies I would like to be considered for the role of Mr Worldwide

[nita lobotomee @nitalobotomee]

it must be national bring all 8 of ur children to walmart and stand in the middle of the aisle day

[Dev⋆˚✿˖° @earthaura_]

I wish more women would know that there is literally no reward for suffering.

[🎮 @foreeeeeal]

100-200 years ago, people ate organic unprocessed food and didn't have vaccines and lived to the ripe old age of died in childbirth

[chimera @chimeraxmachina]

Wild how the Epstein files led to absolutely nothing. A massive, state-connected child trafficking ring turned into a few weeks of political theater until people's eagerness to do something evaporated. A consequence of US politics revolving around two parties who are complicit.

[GluCola @glucowski]

a blue chemical

[َ @chudology]

ever since i was a little kid i knew i wanted to go missing or die after an argument so the other person would feel bad

[miami mike from detroit @yeahimjena]

My mom is a saint she answers my phone calls and listens to me when I whine about being ugly

[Corn ✧⍣ @cornski]

ngl if i was Aang i woulda had 20 BM's im tellin Katara im rebuilding the Air Nation

[ຸ @amalahourly]

this verse is engraved in my memory

[Kaze @Evren_sszn]

I’m not ashamed to admit that while I’m grateful for having a job, I genuinely do not enjoy working.

[🪶🕷️ ♫⃠ @emongangsta]

It’s ok to be chopped at work