Calvin 🤠

Hug Grandmaster | Meme Curator | Probably need a nap. | bi 21 aussie

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

a hidden challenge of parenting is how easy it can be to momentarily forget you’re talking to a child. today my 5 year old was like “I’m so hot should we just eat more popsicles?” and I was two seconds away from being like “YES BITCH”

[Rainbow Fish @RAINBOWFlSH]

Hey everyone, rainbow fish guy here. So I plowed threw a school zone and I’m pretty sure I just killed a kid. Anyway this is probably my last tweet on this app I love you guys

[bean 👽 @DormantLime]

@sampat164 @SydneyBattle

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

who could’ve guessed that something ppl have been practicing and extolling for thousands of years would prove effective and advantageous? not me

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

horrible news. been starting my days with 20-30 min of light yoga and unfortunately it really makes a difference, mentally and physically. i’m so sorry

[ringworm @prawn_meat]

my son (2 years old) is telling me about a creature which "eats bones to cool down". he says it's "real". can anyone corroborate this

[Abigail 🌹 @abigail1963]

NEVER do stock image modeling, just don't do it.

[Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein]

Great work today guys

[jame @kloogans]

im afraid to sleep naked what if my penis gets haunted

[Braindead Bird App @tragicbirdapp]

ok welcome to the worst tweets ever competition. i have selected a number of tweets that’s will compete against each other to take the crown of truly the worst tweet ever. ladies and gentlemen, here are the polls.

[Calvin 🤠 @yeethyhaw]

@cabexswater :(( big hug dude

[Corn ✧⍣ @cornski]

i finally finished xvideos .

[howard @mistahowie]

I think most people underestimate how little being 5’4 is. I’m literally hopping around on my phone rn to type tjis out

[Matcha Man Randy Savage @culchiephobic]

The haters don’t want you to be snug as a bug in a rug

[this could be us but you playin @couldbeusgoaIs]

could be us

[patryc🌹dad/daddy🔞 @_patryc_]

in 1920 we took children out of the coal mines

in 2020, the most popular video game on the market is minecraft.

the children yearn for the mines

[JMR @maison_jmr]

Saw this painting in the Musée d‘Orsay today and it was life changing